


Where You Are

by OccasionalStorytelling



Category: Black Panther (2018), Captain America (Movies), Captain America - All Media Types, Guardians of the Galaxy (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies), infinity war - Fandom
Genre: Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie) Spoilers, Doctor Strange - Freeform, Groot - Freeform, Infinity War Fix, MINOR CHARACTER LIST FOLLOWING:, Mantis - Freeform, Panic Attack, They're all alive, Wanda Maximoff - Freeform, bucky likes art, drax - Freeform, heimdall - Freeform, in-fix-ity war, it isn't too graphic but still, just a child, lots of winter soldier angst, no one died, peter is so small, peter quill - Freeform, stabbings and fight scene, they're just stuck, vision has decided to adopt/protect peter, winter soldier - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-18
Updated: 2018-05-26
Packaged: 2019-05-08 12:11:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 28
Words: 23,091
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14693964
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OccasionalStorytelling/pseuds/OccasionalStorytelling
Summary: Peter's vision goes blurry, and he doesn't feel so good. He's been transported to what looks like a cross between the Avengers Tower and a college dorm, and he's not alone--it seems like everyone who died fighting Thanos is there too, with their own rooms and gear. There are communal lounges and kitchens, and an elevator to travel between floors, even some windows that show impossible landscapes, but no way out. Where are they? How are they still alive?This story mainly addresses how Bucky, Loki, and Vision handle being trapped there.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Updated: My original note mostly stands--Infinity War was a bad movie. It did not make me sad, because it didn't give me time to process what was happening. Loki died too fast for me to really appreciate it, Bucky was under-utilized, and for some reason that I can't fathom, all of my friends hate Vision and are glad that he's dead. Here is a continuation of Infinity War, addressing the fact that I felt the movie had little plot and was unemotional. Earlier, I said "This is, as far as I'm concerned, canon now. Fight me, russo guys. I will die on this hill, flipping you off all the way. You want to make me sad? Write a slow burn with two characters trapped in an elevator, not a bunch of needless and unemotional deaths." As it turns out, I am now up to 17 chapters, and I am indeed writing a more sad version of Infinity War. Oh, there's plenty of humor and fluff in here, but about 9000 words in, we really get to sad/angsty territory. It ends happily, I promise, but...it's not over yet. Have fun!

“Gack,” Peter spat. There was a weird taste in his mouth. He looked around. “I don’t think I’m in Kansas anymore,” he said, staring down a long metallic hallway. He blinked. “Oh, my head hurts,” he said. “Where am I?”

 

The last thing he could remember, his vision had started to go fuzzy. He’d felt dizzy, and kept seeing flashes of a hallway. Shit. This hallway. He backed against a wall. Why wasn’t his spider-sense thing going off? How long had he been unconscious? Who brought him here?

 

He inched backwards, away from the long hallway with its many, many doors. He touched something cold and metallic, and looked over his shoulder to see the largest, scariest man he’d ever accidentally bumped into. 

 

“AAAH!” He leaped away from the man, landing on the wall.

 

“AAAAH!” The man yelled. “Shit! There’s another one!”

 

“AAAAAAAH!” Peter yelled, crawling up the wall. “Who are you? What’s going on?” The man’s hair had been tied up into a loose bun. One of his arms had been replaced with black metal. He was groaning and massaging his forehead, as if he had a migraine.

 

“What’s wrong?” Someone asked. Another man came around the corner. This guy looked pretty normal, with a shock of blond hair and a blue shirt. The newcomer saw Peter. “Oh dear.”

 

“Where am I?” Peter asked, trying not to freak out.

 

“Shhh, it’s okay,” the new guy said, holding up his hands placatingly. “We’re in the same situation as you. I promise, no one will hurt you, Peter.”

 

“How do you know my name?” Peter said, fighting the urge to scramble along the ceiling as far away as he could.

 

“I’m a friend of Tony Stark,” the blonde man continued. “I’m an Avenger. My name is Vision.”

 

“Oh, I’m an Avenger too,” Peter smiled, sighing a little bit with relief. He came down off the wall and shook hands with Vision. “I’m Peter, by the way.”

 

“Nice to meet you,” Vision smiled.

 

“Wait, are you…the Spiderman?” The first man with the metal arm looked up. “Hey. Remember me?”

 

“Oh my. Oh my—oh my god,” Peter stumbled over his words. It was coming back now. “I’m sorry I webbed you to the ground, it was a big fight, I don’t even—“

 

“Hey, hey!” The man said. “Don’t worry about it. I’m Bucky. You’re stuck here too?”

 

“What’s going on?” Peter asked, instinctively huddling closer to Vision. “Where are we? How did we get here?”

 

“Wait for it,” Bucky said.

 

“FUCK!” Someone yelled, and out of nowhere popped a third man, with a green outfit and gold bracelets. “SHIT! FUCK! We—oh.”

 

“Peter, this is Loki,” Vision said.

 

“Hey, but, he’s a bad guy!” Peter said. “He…New York, he’s the one who—“

 

“There’s a lot we should tell you,” Bucky said. “But now is not the time. Loki, did you find anything?”

 

“No, I didn’t,” Loki huffed, brushing himself off as he stood up. “I can’t teleport out of here, and I can’t even get onto any of the other floors without using the elevator. I’m so useless!” He kicked the wall, then collapsed on the ground in a huff.

 

“Peter, let’s get you something to drink,” Vision said, leading the way into a small lounge and kitchenette.

 

“Where are we?” Peter asked again. His head hurt, and he really didn’t feel good.

 

“Try to remember what you can,” Vision said, leaving Peter to rest on a couch. “Tea?”

 

“Do you have any soda?” Peter asked.

 

“Here,” Vision said, bringing over a can.

 

“I…” Peter thought as hard as he could. “I was fighting Thanos,” he began.

 

“That’s good,” Vision nodded. “Do you remember what happened?”

 

“He left, through some kind of portal. And then some of the Guardians started disappearing, and my vision…and then I woke up here?”

 

“We all had something very similar happen to us,” Vision said. “I think the people who were with you are on the fifth floor. We’re on the third floor. So far as we can ascertain, everyone here died fighting Thanos.”

 

“WHAT?!” Peter yelped, and choked on his soda.

 

“Calm down,” Vision said. “We can’t really be dead, as we’re still here, aren’t we? We don’t know where “here” is, but we’re still alive.”

 

“Did Thanos…send us all somewhere, in a portal?”

 

“We think so,” Vision said. “We’re going to find a way out, and escape. We’ll get you home to your friends and family.” Peter sniffed. Aunt May would be so worried about him. Peter hugged Vision, holding back tears. Was Ned okay? Or MJ? He had no idea. Vision hugged him back. “We’re all right,” he said, gently patting Peter on the head. “We’re all right.”


	2. Chapter 2

“Is this my room?” Peter asked.

 

“Looks like it,” Bucky smiled. The door had been decorated with graffiti-type letters, shouting Your Friendly Neighborhood Spiderman! into the hall. “That’s some door you got there. Mine just has a picture of a star on it.”

 

“How did you know it was yours?” Peter asked. 

 

“Go inside,” Bucky said. Peter put his palm up to a reader on the side of the door, and entered his room.

 

“Oh my—“ 

 

“I know,” Bucky said. “We’re regrouping in the lounge. Take as much time as you want—we’ve got plenty of it, apparently.” Bucky left, and Peter stared at his room. 

 

It looked... familiar, somehow. It wasn’t like any room he’d ever lived in before, but it looked as if he’d decorated it himself. There was a bed, a closet, pictures of his friends and family thumbtacked to the wall, some LEGO, a half-assembled science experiment on a table, and out the window...

 

Peter ran to the window. This was Queens! From a different angle, sure, but it was Queens! He’d gotten back to Earth, somehow. How had no one seen this yet? They were in New York! He desperately scratched at the window frame, trying to claw it open. There was no lock; it was like a sheet of glass set into the wall.

 

“Come ON,” he shouted. “Open!” The window didn’t budge, but the image flicked just a little bit. Peter tapped the window lightly. A menu appeared on the glass.

 

SELECT LOCATION

 

“Umm, ocean?” Peter clicked. The window went dark for a moment, then showed an underwater landscape. Peter gasped. It looked so real. But it couldn’t be real. New York was on the other side of that glass. But...was it really? He’d been fooled, he realized. That really was realistic. He set the window to “Stark Tower” so he could pretend he was just on an “internship” again. He didn’t want to look out at his own part of town and not be able to go there. It was better this way; it was like he was on a mission of some kind. 

 

He glanced around the room again. He wasn’t going to sit here in this fake room who-knows-where while an AVENGER was out there planning an escape! And that other guy, Bucky—he worked with Captain America (Captain freaking AMERICA) so he had to be all right too. Peter was in over his head, but that was fine—he could climb the walls and figure it out. He left the room and meandered to the lounge. 


	3. Chapter 3

Bucky clenched his right fist, and released it slowly. He ran a mental checklist of all the various parts of the left arm, allowing them to slide over each other and figure themselves out. He closed his eyes, and opened them again. He took a deep breath. “You’re the worst,” he said.

“Thanks,” Loki said.

“Not you,” Bucky said, gritting his teeth. “We’re cool.”

“What?” Loki, Vision, and several other assorted heroes said together. Bucky massaged his temple again. He really needed to lie down. He missed his goats.

“I hereby ban you from the third floor, Doctor Strange,” Bucky said. He held up a hand before the mystic could protest. “I don’t need an explanation or an excuse, or a vision of the future, or a sassy response. Just get out of here.”

Everyone stared silently as Doctor Strange left the room with a flourish of his cape.

“Is he allowed to do that?” Loki asked. “Seriously, though. Is he in charge? Can we just—“

“Loki,” Bucky said, “I’m going to go lie down. If you want to fight later, let me know. I’m not in charge. No one is in charge, but no one who gave an infinity stone to Thanos to save the life of _Tony Stark_ is going to be allowed to stay on this floor.”

“That describes literally only one person,” Vision said.

“Thank god,” Bucky said. “Anyone else who feels like it can share their own story. Anyone else who wants to tell me that they saved Iron Man’s life can shove it. I’m going to bed.”

“It’s 4pm,” Loki said.

“Prove it,” Bucky said.

“Um, Mr. Bucky?” A small voice came from the back of the room. It was that kid, Spiderman.

“Yes?” Bucky said.

“Um. Mr. Bucky, sir, I—“

“Please don’t do that.”

“Sorry, sir. Um, I…might also have saved his life? Mr. Stark is kind of my boss? Am I allowed to stay?” God, the kid looked anxious. Everyone was looking at Bucky like he was some kind of monster. Vision protectively put a hand on Spiderman’s shoulder.

“Of course you’re allowed to stay,” he said. “That’s obvious. First of all, you can’t go anywhere else, because your room is on this floor. Second of all, Stark being the worst role model in existence is not your fault. Third of all, you’re so small. You’re staying here,” Bucky said, and turned to face the room, “and anyone who messes with him can talk to me. We're all adults. Do your own dishes, people.” Bucky shouldered his way out of the room. He closed the door behind him. He let out a long, slow breath.

Don’t get mad, he told himself. Stay in control. Calm down. Everything is fine.

Everything was not fine. He missed Wakanda, and his goats, and his friends, and Steve. He missed the 1940s. He missed his arm. He was in a strange place against his will, surrounded by more “superheroes.” He was going to go crazy.

He unlocked his door and entered his room. He hoped he wasn’t going to go crazy. He’d had a panic attack when he first got here. If Loki hadn’t been there to pull him out of it…He shuddered.

His room looked bare and white, almost Spartan. Everything, even the bed sheets, were pure white. Bucky loved it. What you couldn’t see at first was that under the bed was a box of art supplies. Paints, fabric markers, puffy paint, fabrics, all sizes of brushes, the good watercolor pencils that he liked, the right type of ballpoint pen…

He’d already started decorating the desk, with a tangle of ballpoint doodles. But screw that. This was his room, and he was stressed out. He grabbed some paints, in as many colors as he could hold.

“Walls first,” he said.


	4. Chapter 4

“Who wants to go next?” Vision asked. Everyone was a little shaken, and with the new arrival of Peter, he thought they should try to introduce themselves.

 

“I will,” Loki said.

 

“You’ve told your story to everyone here individually,” Vision said. “And twice to the whole group.” Loki pointed at Peter.

 

“That’s unfair! I haven’t told him.” Everyone stared at Peter. Peter looked around nervously at the crowd. Vision considered asking Peter to share next, but the boy looked a little panicked. Vision decided that a distraction was the best tactic to help Peter calm down. It certainly worked well for him now that he—No. Not going to think about that.

 

“Fine. Continue,” Vision said, moving Peter to a couch and sitting him down. Loki looked confused for a moment, but soon got the hint.

 

“Right! Yes. Well,” Loki said. He was a little off his game. That was a _kid_ over there. A child! What was he doing here? _Come on, Loki,_ he told himself. _Work your magic._

 

“Mine is a tale of woe, of sorrow, of betrayal!” He sang to the crowd.

 

“Your betrayal,” Black Panther said under his breath. “You were the one betraying people.”

 

“Oh, my friends!” Loki cried, dramatically flinging a hand over his face. “King T’challa wounds me! Wounds me not as greatly as Thanos, I must admit, for I fought bravely against that foe!” Everyone groaned. Vision kept an eye on Peter. Was the boy doing all right? He was so small.

 

“Behold! My neck,” Loki gestured dramatically.

 

“Gonna kill him myself,” Gamora mumbled from the back.

 

“These bruises!” Loki cried aloud. “These bruises are the token of that last act I took against Thanos, fighting brutally to the end!”

 

“And yet, you’re here, and not dead,” T’challa said. He high-fived Gamora.

 

“Shut it!” Loki said. “Don’t make me stand on the table again!”

 

“Oh, the table, again?” Gamora said sarcastically. “Please, it will vastly improve your storytelling abilities.”

 

“There I was!” Loki shrieked, climbing onto the table. “My own brother, King of Asgard, helpless against Thanos’s minions, trapped! My people, all dead! My only hope—a small dagger, concealed in my wrist!”

 

Loki continued yelling about how dramatically he had fought, and about how helpless everyone around him had been, and how powerful the great Loki had been, and how great it was that Loki, once so evil, had fought for good. The crowd began to disperse. Vision saw Gamora and T’challa leave together. He was pretty sure they were going off to spar in the gym again, to try and stay sharp.

 

Vision looked down at Peter. “How are you feeling?” He asked.

 

“Horrible,” Peter said, leaning against Vision’s shoulder.

 

Vision’s breath caught. He’d… never gotten a chance to tell Wanda that he’d been interested in having kids. And he knew there was probably no way he could _make_ a kid. They would have to adopt. But he wasn’t sure Wanda was ready for that, so he had never asked what she thought about it, and now he was worried he wouldn’t get a chance.

 

“Mr. Vision?” Peter said, looking up at him.

 

“You don’t have to call me that,” Vision said. “Whatever makes you the most comfortable. Just “Vision” is fine. What is it?”

 

“I’m kind of scared,” Peter said, a little embarrassed.

 

“Of what?” Vision asked.

 

“I don’t know where we are, or what happened to us, and all of our friends probably think we’re dead, and—“

 

“Shh,” Vision said, running a hand through Peter’s hair. “It’s all right. I’ll protect you.”

 

“I don’t need protection,” Peter said, pulling away a little. But he hesitated. “I’ve never been this far from home before,” he said.

 

Vision nodded. “You will return home again,” he said.

 

Loki grumbled and climbed awkwardly down from the table. “Are you happy?” He asked. “The room is clear, you can have your nice conversation with your son.”

 

“My parents are dead,” Peter said.

 

“This isn’t my son,” Vision said.

 

“Well, my parents are dead too, and you’re both wearing red. I’m going to the spa,” Loki said, already starting to leave.

 

“We have a spa?” Vision asked.

 

“I don’t know! I will figure something out, okay?” Loki stormed off angrily.

 

“I’m here if you need anything,” Vision said. “I actually have no idea if there’s a spa in this building, but there’s a gym, a pool, an arcade…do you want me to give you the tour?”

 

“Yes, please,” Peter said. “I…don’t want to be alone right now.”

 

“That’s perfectly fine,” Vision smiled. “I think we’ll start by showing you the lab.”


	5. Loki's Arrival

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Before anyone else arrived on the third floor, it was just Loki. Alone with bruises and injuries sustained from the fight.
> 
> This chapter takes place before Peter's arrival in chapter one.

Loki’s vision glitched just briefly, like he had seen what it looks like to blink. Reality faded away, narrowed down to a struggle for somewhere to put his feet and gasping for air. A tiny, tiny part of him wondered what the glitch was, but he was a little distracted.

 

Couldn’t even apologize to Thor. Loki was kind of annoyed that people seemed to really like making it hard for him to speak. No one went out of their way to take away Thor’s hammer. Actually, he took that back. Thor’s hammer HAD been taken away. Maybe that was just life.

 

Maybe this was just death. He couldn’t even hear what Thanos was saying anymore. His vision kept glitching out to something silver and metallic, and he couldn’t breathe. He wasn't even that old. He’d expected another 3000 years before someone got mad enough at him to _really_ kill him.

 

Oops.

 

He couldn’t feel any part of his body. That was weird. His vision glitched again but didn’t resettle—he found himself suddenly standing in a hallway of silver and metal. Being a creature of dignity and refinement, he doubled over and started coughing. Air. So that’s what that felt like.

 

Where had Thanos sent him? That must have been what happened. Thanos had exiled him somewhere instead of killing him. Shit, but he was probably going to kill Thor. Loki kicked the wall and screamed.

 

He was useless! What was the point of trying to work with Thor if he kept losing fights anyway? He did his best, and he’d tried, like, three different attacks on Thanos. Thor watching from that metal prison thing, not helping. Loki would admit that it was satisfying to see Thor in a gag similar to the one he had once been forced to wear, but that feeling had lasted maybe 30 seconds, as they were fighting for their lives. Loki took a deep breath and tried to calm down. He could just teleport out of here, couldn’t he? He disappeared in a flash of light, and emerged seconds later, falling face first to the ground. He tried twice more. It hurt. A lot.

 

He was useless. He was a failure, and useless, and he’d failed Thor, and now he was just stuck here until Thanos decided to bring him back.

 

He started kicking the wall repeatedly. He sat on the ground. He groaned, and then laid there in silence.

 

He heard a sound, after what felt like an hour. It was coming from below. He tried instinctively to magic his way through the floor, but after a painful jolt, he realized that wasn’t going to happen. He turned his head to the left. He saw an elevator. He stood, and walked over to the door.

 

He pushed the call button.

 

And waited.

 

Nothing happened! The button lit up, but nothing happened. What was the point of an elevator if—the elevator arrived. It just wasn’t very fast, apparently. Loki sighed and entered. There were a bunch of buttons, all over one of the walls. Most of the buttons were unlabeled. Only two buttons had numbers: button 3 and button 1. Loki pushed the button for number 1. The elevator door closed excruciatingly slowly and carried him down. When the door opened, Loki was startled to see Heimdall standing right in front of him.

 

“Heimdall?” He asked, stupidly.

 

“Loki?” Heimdall asked. “Why couldn’t I see you?”

 

Loki looked behind Heimdall. The remains of the Asgardian people, everyone Loki assumed had died, stood around in a very similar hallway to the one on the third floor. They were moving into a room on the far end.

 

“Where are we?” Loki asked.

 

“Val—“

 

“Don’t say Valhalla,” Loki said. “We’re not dead.”

 

“We might be,” Heimdall said. “I watched you die.”

 

“Well, that can’t be. I’m right here, not dead,” Loki said.

 

“Thanos choked you and threw you on the ground. I couldn’t move, because I was also dying. You—“

 

“I don’t want to hear it,” Loki said, rubbing his neck. It hurt to touch. He was probably going to bruise. “We can’t be dead, because if we were, you would be in Valhalla, and this isn’t Valhalla.”

 

“How do you know?” Heimdall asked.

 

“Because I’m here,” Loki said. “There’s no way I made it to Valhalla.”

 

“You’re the king now—“ Heimdall started.

 

“Shut up,” Loki said. “No, I’m not. Is anyone missing?”

 

“Just Thor,” Heimdall said. “He must have escaped.”

 

“Huh,” Loki said.

 

“You really think we’re not dead?”

 

“Yes, I’m pretty sure I made that clear.”

 

“We’ll put you up in a room with someone. Everyone has their own room, it seems, and there’s food to spare in the kitchen down there. It’s odd. You’re the only person here who didn’t appear in the hallway.”

 

“I did,” Loki swallowed. “Fuck. I think my room is on the third floor.”

 

“There are other levels?” Heimdall asked. “How many?”

 

“I don’t know!” Loki said, about to lose his temper. “Can’t you see them?”

 

“I can’t see anything beyond this level,” Heimdall said.

 

“And I can’t magic my way between them,” Loki said.

 

“Come to the meeting,” Heimdall said.

 

“I’m going to my room,” Loki said, calling the elevator.


	6. Chapter 6

Peter stood in the elevator, with a wall full of buttons. Someone had gotten a roll of tape and a sharpie and started labeling. Floor 1 was “Asgardians,” Floor 5’s label had been crossed out and replaced with “Guardians,” Floor 13 was “SHIELD,” Floor 7 was “Do Not Disturb,” and the 20th floor was “Lost.” Peter looked for the third floor. The button said three, and the label had been removed, with only a piece of sticky goo left.

 

“Here,” Vision said, pushing a button with the letter “B.” “This one goes to the pool,” he said. “It’s nice, and there should be a bathing suit in your room. There certainly was in mi—AAGH!” Vision doubled over, holding his side. 

 

“Mr. Vision! Are you okay?” Peter asked. “I think I know CPR? Wait, are you—oh my god that’s a lot of blood, are you—“

 

“AARGH. Yes, Peter, I’m—AACk,” Vision continued. There was a tear in the side of his blue shirt, and something was gushing out of it. It didn’t quite look like blood, or oil. Peter half wanted to analyze it, half wanted to put it all back somehow.

 

“What do I do?” Peter panicked.

 

“Push the third floor button,” Vision coughed. “We need Loki.” Peter pushed the button and knelt beside Vision.

 

“I’m going to put pressure on it. Will that help?” He asked. Vision nodded. Peter pushed down as hard as he could, getting whatever the stuff was on his hands and sleeves.The elevator dinged and arrived at the third floor.

 

“Loki!” Peter yelled down the hall. “Someone get Loki!” Bucky emerged from his room nearby. He appraised the situation, and strode into a room with green an gold designs twirling over the door. Seconds later, Loki and Bucky both came running out to the elevator, where Peter still kept both hands pressing down.

 

“Move!” Loki said. Peter complied. Loki closed his eyes and moved his hands too fast to see over the wound. The injury began to close up, but Vision’s outline flickered. Loki frowned, eyes still closed. “Vision, I’m going to have to drop whatever you’re wearing,” he said. Vision nodded. “Maybe if someone hadn’t ordered Doctor Strange away, we’d have an adequate medic instead of me,” Loki muttered, closing his eyes again. The blood-ish thing disappeared, and Vision flickered. The blonde man in the blue shirt was gone, replaced by what looked like a robot in green and red. Peter gasped.

 

“There,” Loki said, dusting off his hands. “That’s the best I can do. We need a real doctor, and clearly, the magic doesn’t hold very long.”

 

“I may have…been angry when I told Doctor Strange to leave,” Bucky said.

 

“You think?” Loki snapped. “I’m going to go find him, and you’d better apologize when I bring him back. _He_ is the doctor! Not me!” Loki stood up and gently moved Vision out of the elevator. “Rest a little bit,” Loki said. “I put a basic ward on it, but it might not hold if you do anything too physical. I’m going to get Strange,” Loki glared at Bucky, and the elevator closed on him. Bucky sighed, and sat on the ground next to Peter.

 

“Are you a robot, Mr. Vision?” Peter asked.

 

“It’s a long story,” Vision said, wincing. He looked really cool, Peter thought.

 

“What happened?” Bucky asked.

 

“He just collapsed!” Peter said. “I didn’t know what to do.”

 

“You did fine,” Bucky said, tucking a hair over his ear. He was no longer wearing the bun, and now he was in some kind of paint-splattered apron. Wet paint, Peter noticed.

 

“Is there an art room?” Peter asked. Bucky smiled.

 

“Maybe,” he said. “We haven’t explored all the floors, and some of the buttons in the elevator don’t work. Naw, this is from my room. I don’t have any personal mementos from home, so I ended up with a bunch of paints.”

 

“Wow,” Peter breathed. “Can I see what you’re making?”

 

“No,” Bucky said, his voice firm. Peter decided to immediately drop the subject. This guy was scary, sometimes. And he’d been hard to fight back when Mr. Stark had brought him to that airport…Peter hoped Mr. Stark was okay.

 

“Are you okay, Vision?” Bucky asked. Vision nodded, and coughed.

 

“I think I can stand,” he started, but Bucky held him down.

 

“No, you’re staying right here until Loki gets back with Doctor Strange. And then I am leaving,” Bucky finished.

 

“Why do you hate Doctor Strange?” Peter asked. “Why do you hate Iron Man?”

 

“There aren’t a lot of things that I have right now,” Bucky said, staring at the floor. “Even before we got here, I didn’t have a whole lot. I…things happened. And Steve Rogers, Captain America, saved me. I owe him everything, and more than that, I…” Bucky fizzled out. He thought for a moment. “Anyone who tries to tell me they don’t support Captain America, because of those Sokovia accords or whatever, anyone who can deny that Steve is a hero and try to fight him…I can’t stand that. And that is what Stark is kind of doing, right now. It’s his fault that Steve is in this horrible position, and…you know what? It’s complicated, and you’re a little small for this. Can you keep an eye on him? I’m going to get some raspberries. Come one Vision, don’t you want some raspberries?” Vision smiled.

 

“They’re my favorite,” he said.

 

“I know,” Bucky said. He stood and headed for the kitchen.

 

“What’s going on with him?” Peter asked. “What won’t he tell me?”

 

“No one here is in really great shape, emotionally,” Vision admitted. “We’re doing our best.” Vision coughed, and together they waited for Doctor Strange to arrive.


	7. Vision's Arrival

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soon after Loki found himself on the third floor, another stranger arrived. A stranger with much worse damage than bruises.

Vision remembered pain, and Wanda, and being grabbed by the throat by Thanos. Vision found himself on the third floor.

 

It was to his credit or his artificial structure that he didn’t immediately throw up. He was bleeding something out of a long gash in his side. He laid on the ground, bleeding. He didn’t know where he was.

 

By then, a few of the other rooms in the hallway had started to fill up. The only door that ended up mattering to Vision was one patterned green and gold. That door opened, and someone emerged from it. Vision stared up at that person, who said, very calmly, but very very loudly, “Fuck.”

 

Vision passed out from blood loss. He later found out that Loki had put a temporary magical patch on his cut, but without a real doctor anywhere in the building that Loki could find, magic was the best option Vision had. Vision thanked him. The two began to talk. 

 

They realized they were in similar situations, in terms of being different from the normal person in their societies they might compare themselves to. Loki had tried making an insensitive robot joke before he realized that Vision was going to internalize that rather than fight back. And after that…Well. That’s a story for another time.


	8. Chapter 8

Loki dropped Doctor Strange off by the injured Vision and small Spider-thing and headed to Bucky’s room. The door was locked. That was different from usual.

 

“Bucky?” Loki said, leaning against the door. “Are you in there?”

 

“Yes,” came a voice from behind the door.

 

“Do you want me to come in?” Loki held his breath.

 

“It’s not happening again,” Bucky said.

 

“Well, I’d like to think that we’re friends regardless of whether or not ‘it happens’ ever again,’ Loki said, trying to figure out if he needed to magic-open the lock. Silence from behind the door. “I’m here if you need anything,” Loki said.

 

“You can’t make this one go away,” Bucky said.

 

“I can try—“ Loki began.

 

“No. Stop thinking that,” Bucky said from behind the door.

 

“Make me stop thinking about it,” Loki said playfully, magic-ing his clothing into a replica of the Captain America suit.

 

The door opened suddenly, and Loki almost fell inside. The look on Bucky’s face made him drop the disguise immediately.

 

“Don’t,” Bucky said, in a low, dangerous voice.

 

“I’m sorry, I thought—“

 

“Have you ever been in love?” Bucky asked.

 

It took Loki a second to respond. “There was a girl, years ago, but…No,” he eventually said.

 

“I appreciate the offer, but I’m not going to cheat on Steve. And also,” Bucky sniffed, “I’m kind of dealing with a heartbreak right now. So also, I don’t appreciate the offer, never make it again.”

 

“We’ll get back to Earth,” Loki said. “You’ll see him again.”

 

Bucky closed the door. Loki sighed and walked away. He had some options. He could go down to the first floor and see the other Asgardians. He could find some other hero to hang out with. He could go to the pool or something (there was no spa, unfortunately). Or, he could go back to mindlessly throwing himself against the wall preventing him from teleporting. Which one of those was most likely to make him feel something? No question.

 

“Back at it,” Loki muttered, and created a portal.


	9. Loki Alone

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Before Vision's arrival, Loki spends some time talking to himself alone on the third floor.

“Okay. It has been at least three hours since I last saw Heimdall. I apparently cannot teleport anywhere in this building, but most of the rest of my magic seems unaffected. Thanos, who I can only assume is responsible for our being here, has made it very clear which magic is off limits here.

 

“Anything that I’m not supposed to do hurts like Hela, but I think I could probably get past it somehow and still complete the spell.

 

“I can’t send any sort of message out, or even manifest in a dream. Even a child could do that, so I assume it is the building and not me at fault.

 

“I can’t teleport, obviously, and I can’t hold a shape other than my own for very long.

 

“I don’t miss Thor. I don’t miss the Hulk.

 

“I don’t miss them, and on that subject, let’s try teleporting out of here again! This is a healthy coping mechanism.

 

“Ouch. Ouch. This is a healthy coping mechanism.

 

“Ouch. Fuck. I’m trying to escape, so this is actually a useful way to spend time, and NOT a coping mechanism. This is a good idea.

 

“Ouch! Shit. This is a good idea. This is a healthy decision. Guess I can’t fucking lie to myself, can I? Sucks to—

 

…

 

“So. That’s what passing out feels like. Nice to know I can still do that. Thanks, universe. Finally a task I can accomplish.

 

“Guess I’m not standing up again. That’s fine. This is an okay carpet.

 

“I hate my room.

 

“I HATE MY ROOM! It’s dark, and cold, and not at all like that spaceship we were on.

 

“No one can hear me. I could just say anything right now.

 

“Anything at all.

 

“It’s me, Loki! I defeated Thanos! Everyone cheer! (yeah! woo hoo!)

 

“It’s me, Loki! I’m…cool! I’m hip with the memes! Kids love me!

 

“It’s me, Loki! I’m alone in a strange place, and I’m too ashamed of my own shortcomings to go find other people so I won’t be alone anymore, and I—

 

“Ouch. Maybe if I take it by surprise, I’ll be able to break through.

 

“How long has it been, lying here on the floor? How long was I passed out? I bet for—

 

“According to a hall clock, it’s been about three hours and 15 minutes since I last saw Heimdall.

 

...

 

“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow. Maybe I'm hitting a little hard with the emotions I'm trying to express, but I'm the author of a fan fiction! Who cares? Loki is sad and alone and he hates it. And he also can't do anything about it. Yay.


	10. Day Two Begins

An alarm beeped, and Peter instinctively flailed out a hand to turn it off. He realized that it wasn’t his usual alarm clock, and sat up. For a moment, he’d forgotten where he was. He’d been having a dream, a really good one, but he couldn’t remember it anymore.

 

Though this room certainly was comfortable, it was a little weird. Peter showered, brushed his teeth, and rummaged around in the closet until he found something resembling his normal clothes. About to leave, he wondered if he should bring anything. He didn’t have his school work or backpack with him, and that was more disconcerting than anything else. Peter grabbed some lego, and left. He just wanted something to hold. He wanted to ask Vision if there were any more kids around the building, but he reminded himself that he was 15, so, almost an adult, and that he wasn’t really a kid.

 

He smelled pancakes coming from the lounge kitchen. He entered.

 

Bucky was inside, whistling and making breakfast. Peter’s stomach grumbled, and Bucky heard it and turned around.

 

“Breakfast will be ready soon, kid,” he smiled. Peter flushed with embarrassment. “Take a seat at the counter.”

 

Peter did so, and then had to do a double take. “Are you making shapes?”

 

“Lacy heart pancakes,” Bucky said. “I saw them on the British Baking Show one time. They’re pretty simple if you have batter already made. You just put it in a squirt bottle like this, and—do you want to try?”

 

“Yes!” Peter left his lego in a small pile on the counter, and moved next to Bucky.

 

“I’m making a shape like this…I start with a small heart, then make looping shapes around it. And then once its done cooking on one side, you flip it. Make sure the connecting beams are strong enough to let the pancake flip without breaking. Here,” Bucky passed the batter squirt bottle to Peter after the demonstration.

 

“It’s harder than I thought it would be,” Peter laughed awkwardly, fumbling the batter.

 

“Keep trying,” Bucky said, tying his hair up into a knot. Peter watched the arm move, fascinated by the patterns.

 

“How did you…?” Peter didn’t want to be rude.

 

“Lost the arm due to frostbite in the 40s,” Bucky said, flexing the metal and looking at it like he could still feel the real skin. “Stuff happened. Got this arm from Wakanda.”

 

“That’s where I want to study abroad!” Peter blurted. Bucky looked down. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to interrupt.”

 

“Wakanda will be a nice place to study,” Bucky smiled, ruffling Peter’s hair. “You’ll have fun there. What do you want to do?”

 

“Um, inventing stuff, mostly,” Peter said. “Like Mr. Stark!” Bucky’s face turned sour for a moment. “But…I don’t want to make 20 versions of the same suit of armor. I want to make gadgets, stuff that anyone can use. I mostly make web shooters right now, because they keep breaking and running out of fluid, but imagine, like, I don’t know, something that you could wear on your wrist and…and…”

 

“Hey!” Bucky laughed. “That’s not a heart!”

 

Peter sheepishly looked down at his pancake, which he had absentmindedly crafted into a spider web. “Oops,” he said.

 

“That’s great!” Bucky said. “Can you make more? Everyone will be in really soon, and they're going to be hungry.”

 

“Sure!” Peter said.

 

“There had better be PANCAKES in the kitchen or I’m going to have a WORD with WHOEVER is creating the ILLUSION OF PANCAKES IN THE KITCHEN,” Someone said very loudly in the hallway.

 

“That’s Loki,” Bucky pretended to wince.

 

“Is he really a good guy now?” Peter asked, starting another spiderweb pancake.

 

Bucky thought. “I think it’s hard to say,” he said. “I think he’s trying to make himself better, but the “good guys” tend to be the types that work well in crowds, and he’s definitely more of a “I’ll only help specific people who I like, but I will defend them to the death” kind of a guy.”

 

“Is he really a god?” Peter asked.

 

“You’d think they’re gods, to look at Thor’s body,” Bucky smiled. “But no. My friend used to say, “There’s only one god, and I’m pretty sure he doesn’t dress like that.” “

 

Peter laughed. His face was bright and happy, and Bucky was glad. No one that young should be forced into a superhero life, and Peter should especially not be here, wherever "here" was. But at least he could be happy and among friends until they escaped.

 

“Show me how to make a spider web design,” Bucky smiled, scratching his chin in pretend thoughtfulness. Peter laughed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Google lacy heart pancakes to see what they look like--they're really cute and really fun to make!


	11. Chapter 11

Floor Seven. Do not disturb. 

 

Almost as soon as the button had started working, Loki had tried it. The seventh floor. He did his best to stay away from it now.

 

It was different from all the other floors—its hallway was tinged with red light, and there was no kitchen. There were only a few doors. One of them, Loki knew, belonged to Doctor Strange. Even the Doctor didn’t spend a lot of time up here. It was creepy.

 

The red light came from the edges of the door frames of one of the rooms. The door was also red. Loki picked up a piece of paper sitting outside the door. It had been sealed shut in an envelope with a green wax seal. Loki had left it there yesterday. Loki sighed, and knocked on the door.

 

“It’s me again. Please don’t do anything horrible to me,” he said. He felt a wave of vertigo wash over him. “I swear to gods! Vision is—“ Loki didn’t get to finish.

 

He was back on the spaceship, only he was the one in the metal cage, and Thor was the one getting murdered. He slammed his fist as hard as he could into the side of the cage. It hurt, but not good enough to help him break free. He tried slapping himself in the face. Didn’t work—the illusion hadn't left his hands free. With as much energy as he could muster, Loki tried teleporting. With a jolt of pain, he returned to the hallway.

 

He wasn’t a coward. There was just too much power from behind the door. Loki ran back to the elevator and furiously pushed the button over and over. He could hear the sounds of shattering glass from behind the door—How had she even gotten anything to shatter? Was her room filled with glass?—but he escaped into the elevator before it could get much worse.

 

“Today’s the day,” Loki said to himself. “If she won’t come out, I’m going to tell Vision that she’s here. They’re in love with each other for crying out—FUCK,” and another hit of vertigo slammed into him.

 

“Why can’t I tell him?” Loki screamed into the empty elevator, massaging his head.

 

“I killed him,” Wanda said, her voice echoing in Loki’s mind.

 

“But he’s right—SHIT,” Loki doubled over, and promptly vomited. He’d had a plan to think about Vision’s wistful presence on the third floor while engaging the Scarlet Witch in order to disorient her, but it was hard to think about anything other than vomiting if that’s what you were doing.

 

Thor, struggling to breathe, Thanos with his—

 

“ALL RIGHT!” Loki cogugh-shouted, still heaving. “I won’t tell him!” The elevator dinged, and Loki found himself on the first floor. With a bunch of Asgardians. Staring at him while he talked to himself and vomited. Loki grumbled and pushed the button for the third floor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much to everyone who subscribed! It must be a wild ride with my posting 11 chapters at random times over only two days, but it means so much to me that you're in it to win it! See you soon!


	12. Bucky's Arrival

They won the fight. They did it. Bucky let out a deep breath. They’d done it—Thanos had been defeated, and he had left Wakanda in peace. Bucky smiled, checked that he hadn’t sustained any major injuries, and headed for the last place he’d heard Steve’s voice. Granted, at the time Steve had been screaming, but Thanos was gone now! Everything would be all right, now. Together, the two of them would heal and rebuild their lives. They’d lost a lot of people, but the time for mourning was later. Bucky emerged into a clearing, where Steve sat looking dejected. Vision’s body was tossed haphazardly to the side. Bucky took a step towards Steve, but he felt a little bit dizzy for a second.

 

“Steve?” Bucky said, taking a step forward. His vision faded out and back in… just like it did before Zola brainwashed him. No. Not again.

 

“Steve?” Bucky said, a little bit louder, starting to panic. Blink—reality was gone for a second. Bucky couldn’t breathe. Steve looked up. Bucky fell to the ground.

 

The ground wasn’t soft and mossy, like Bucky had expected. It was hard, and cold, and sharp. Bucky was lying face down on a metal surface. He couldn’t see the forest or Steve anymore.

 

“No,” he whispered, starting to stand up. “It can’t be happening. Not again.” But it was happening. Bucky crashed against a wall, breathing heavily. “No,” he whispered. “No, no, no no…” He could barely breathe. He could barely see. His mind felt vaguely distant, somehow, like he was watching himself. “Let me out,” he wheezed, barely sucking in air. He was hyperventilating. _Calm down,_ he told himself, but when has that line ever worked?

 

He knew exactly what was happening. Shuri had tried to help him process what had been done to him, and how to work through it. He’d been working on controlling his anger, and allowing himself to be happy. He’d loved petting the goats when he started to feel like maybe, just maybe, he wasn’t in control of himself, and the Winter Soldier was going to emerge again, and hurt all of his friends. The goats had helped. They grounded him, kept him focused on reality.

 

He was trapped in his own mind, he realized. His body had somehow been taken over, and the Winter Soldier had been activated. And Bucky was stuck here with no control, not even one hand on the wheel, and the Winter Soldier was holding a gun and armed with a new vibranium arm from Wakanda, and he was only steps away from Steve.

 

Bucky screamed in his head, unable to move, unable to breathe. Only the edge of the metal arm that was dug into the wall kept him mostly upright. He was going to pass out from lack of oxygen. He couldn’t breathe, he couldn’t think, he couldn’t do anything, he was going to vanish in here, all of his friends were going to die.

 

In the kitchen, Loki heard a soft “thump” and what sounded like choking. Loki rushed into the hall. Another new arrival.

 

“Are you okay?” Loki asked.

 

The man had a metal arm, for gods’ sake, and it looked like he couldn’t breathe. But there wasn’t anything on his neck that could be causing that. It hit Loki after a few seconds—this man was having a panic attack. Loki grimaced and rolled up his sleeve. He would have preferred to ask permission first, but this was an emergency. The man was barely holding on. Loki put his hand on the side of the man’s face, and closed his eyes.

 

It was like the ocean in there. Loki was pummeled by wave after wave of screaming thoughts. He pushed past it as best as he could, and tried to go deeper. He hoped he wasn’t going to drown. At the center of all of it was the man. He was screaming, over and over again, “I’m James Buchanan Barnes! I’m James Buchanan Barnes! I’m Bucky! I’m from New York! I like… I like…I’m Bucky! I’m from New York!”

 

“I’m over here!” Loki shouted, still swimming through the turbulent waters. “Help me get over to you!” The man, Bucky, it seemed, wasn’t going to be able to help him. Loki summoned a spell, and forced himself through the water and onto land. Bucky was holding his head and screaming still. Loki looked closely, and squinted. Huh. Another projection. Also on the island were some palm trees and a large rock. Loki moved around behind it. It shifted slightly as he did so, as if something large were underneath, trying to escape. Behind the rock was another Bucky, sitting very still and staring straight ahead.

 

“My name is Loki,” Loki said, kneeling next to him. “I’m a real person. I’m just a visitor, I’m not taking over, I promise.”

 

“Why are you here?” Bucky asked. Loki sat down in the sand and shadows.

 

“Your body is having some difficulties right now,” Loki said.

 

“I knew it,” Bucky said, sinking into the sand. Loki noticed that both of his arms were real, and that his hair was a lot shorter than it was in real life. “I lost control. Everyone is going to die, and it’s my fault.”

 

“That’s not true,” Loki said, trying to leverage a shoulder under Bucky and stop him from slipping. “You’re just hyperventilating. I think you’re having a panic attack. Do these happen often?” Bucky continued to sink. Loki was using both arms now to try and hold him up. Bucky continued to sink. “Come on. I got you. Look, if you can, would you mind letting me help you get back out? I can give you a little more control, I can—“ Bucky slipped most of the way underground. “Shit.”

 

“Get out of my head,” came a muffled voice from under the sand.

 

“I can’t do that without you,” Loki said, still trying to hold on as the very-heavy body tried to keep sinking.

 

“Get out,” Bucky said, “of my HEAD.”

 

Loki found himself flung backwards and out of Bucky’s mind. In reality once more, Bucky was breathing again. Thank gods.

 

“We’re out,” Loki said, smiling awkwardly, catching hold of himself again. “You did it. I’m right here. It’s okay—“

 

“We’re not out,” Bucky said, looking around furtively. “We’re still here. I’m still not in control.” He squeezed his eyes shut as tight as he could. It looked like he was giving himself a migraine.

 

“Hey! Look at me, if you can, look at me, okay? You’re back in reality. You, me, and a bunch of other people got trapped here after fighting Thanos. You’re all right though, you—“

 

“What?!?” Bucky was starting to hyperventilate again. Loki abandoned caution and dignity and hugged him.

 

“It’s strange and confusing, but that’s what’s really going on. You’re in control, and you’re safe,” Loki said, holding on tightly. He felt the metal arm stiffen under him. Shit. That thing could kill someone, which Loki guessed was the point of having it.

 

“I’m going to keep talking, okay?” Loki said. “You don’t have to respond, unless you want to. I’m right here, and I’m real, and this is real.”

 

“Where’s Steve?” Bucky was hoarse, and he sounded exhausted.

 

“If he’s not here, he’s safe. He escaped Thanos. He’s all right,” Loki said, only mostly sure who Steve was. That was the righteousness, Captain America, patriotism guy, right? Not the time to ask. Bucky relaxed a little bit. “I’m right here,” Loki said. “We’ll get you through this.”


	13. Chapter 13

“Peter?” Vision entered the science lab, which appeared to be much messier than it had been the day before.

 

“We’re not doing anything!” Starlord yelped, standing up way too quickly and way too awkwardly from behind a pile of…something. “Oh! Vision. Hi! I thought you were…I thought you were—“

 

“I’m only 15!” Peter yelled, leaping into the air. “Don’t kill me with your swords, please!” He looked over at the door. “Oh! It’s just you, Mr. Vision. Did I do it right, Mr. Quill?”

 

“Yeah, good work kid,” Starlord said, clambering over a box of mechanical parts. “Try to do puppy dog eyes too, that usually works for me.”

 

“Are you and Gamora having another fight?” Vision asked. He was curious. The couple seemed to be either in each others’ arms or at each others’ throats at all hours of the day.

 

“No, we are not,” Quill said. “I just wanted a cool new gun, as my last one got turned into bubbles, and my old weapons expert isn’t anywhere in this building.” He put a foot directly into a gear, and winced.

 

“We’re both named Peter!” Spiderman said. Vision smiled.

 

“Yes you are,” he said. “What are you working on?”

 

“Well it’s supposed to shoot grenades, and then those grenades will explode, and release knives, and those knives will be on fire,” Quill said, at the exact same time Spiderman looked uncomfortable and shoved the device in his hands behind a stack of papers.

 

“Oh,” he said. “I thought I was making you something that shoots my web fluid.”

 

“What?” Quill looked sad. “But that’s not as cool!” He picked the gear out of the sole of his shoe.

 

“Peter?” Gamora said, entering the room.

 

Both Peters began screaming. Spiderman jumped onto the ceiling, and Starlord ran in circles and fell over. Vision sighed.

 

“They’re not doing anything,” Vision told her, and headed back for the elevator. There was more crashing and screaming behind him as the door closed. Vision selected a button. Floor Seven was labelled “Do Not Disturb,” the SHIELD agents on Floor 13 kind of scared him, and he wasn’t up for exploration right now. He pushed the button for the 5th floor.

 

“I am Groot,” Groot said as Vision exited the elevator.

 

“Nice to see you too,” Vision smiled, moving to sit down next to his friend.

 

“I am Groot.”

 

“Level 50? Already?”

 

“I am Groot.”

 

“You’re very good at this game,” Vision said, leaning back against the wall.

 

“I am Groot.”

 

“No, I’m fine. I just miss Wanda. Sometimes, I think I love her.”

 

“I am Groot.”

 

“It’s nice to know that you think that, but it still worries me. What if that really _is_ all that I was, just that infinity stone giving me a personality? What if now, I’m nothing more than my assorted parts. I could be boring and stupid now, and she would—“

 

“I am Groot!”

 

“Oh, Groot. You’re right. Maybe I _do_ worry I’m not capable of love.”

 

“I am Groot.”

 

“Thank you. That means a lot. I…” Vision sniffed and wiped away a tear. “It’s really very kind of you to say that.” Vision hugged Groot, and Groot put down the video game to reciprocate. The two sat in silence for a little while, with just the beeping sounds of the space game echoing in the hall.

 

“I am Groot?”

 

“He’s nice to me, but not very talkative. We often just exist near each other, instead of really bonding.”

 

“I am Groot.”

 

“You think I should? If you say so,” Vision smiled, standing up. “You really have a way with words. You’ve convinced me. I’ll do it.”

 

“I am Groot.”

 

“Yes, I’ll be back for poker at 5. And thank you!” Vision entered the elevator and pushed the button for the third floor. Once there, he grabbed some supplies from his room and headed to the kitchen.


	14. Chapter 14

Loki finished up a nice cold shower. He’d discovered that he didn’t do very well in excessive heat. That had been a fun few days trapped in a desert. On the other hand, colder temperatures suited him very nicely. A little bit of his frost giant inheritance would emerge, and he’d get blue patterns all over his skin. When he said “a nice cold shower,” you could assume that he’d turned the water to the lowest setting it could go without turning to ice.

 

He turned off the music he’d been playing. He’d hit “shuffle” before getting in, and his playlist today ranged from Moana to My Chemical Romance. He dried off, and put on clothing. He felt a little hungry, and decided to see if anyone was in the kitchen. He opened the door, and found himself face to face with Spiderman. He stepped back.

 

“What are you doing here?” Loki asked.

 

“I’m sorry, Mr. Loki,” Spiderman mumbled, staring at the floor. “Was that…were you listening to ‘Death of a Bachelor?’”

 

Loki thought for a second. That would be Panic! at the Disco…and yes, also the last song he’d played. He summoned every last bit of energy the cold water had given him, and vowed not to show any hint of blushing or embarrassment.

 

“Yes. What of it?” He snapped. The boy flinched back. Loki pulled himself up a little straighter. He was, after all, a god, and mortals should be frightened of him!

 

“I just thought it was funny,” Peter mumbled.

 

“And why is that?” Loki asked, the pinnacle of haughtiness.

 

“That one line in the song?” Peter said, more of a question than a statement. “ _The lace in your dress/ tangles my neck/ how do I live?”_ Peter sang.

 

“So?” Loki was getting annoyed.

 

Peter pointed at the bruises still visible on Loki’s neck from his encounter with Thanos. Loki touched them. They still hurt.

 

“Ah,” Loki said, completely sure that he was now bright red. “Never speak of this again, or I will stab you.”

 

Peter grimaced awkwardly. “Mr. Loki, you were playing that music awfully loud…” he saw the look on Loki’s face. “Which is great! I mean I do that all the time, who doesn’t sing in the shower, I just—“

 

“Spit it out!” Loki hissed. At that moment, T’challa walked by.

 

“Loki!” he smiled. “Excellent singing. I know the song “Welcome to the Black Parade.” You should perform! Another 40 minute show, like the one from today.” T’challa walked off, whistling the tune. Loki cursed inwardly at the decadent life style he had led that convinced him that 40 minute showers were okay.

 

“Thank you,” Loki said, with as much dignity as he could hold onto. “I will be in my room if anyone needs a magic user.” He slammed the door on the little boy’s face. He considered screaming loudly, but he had just learned that these walls were not soundproof. Dammit. And whatever had been cooking in the kitchen smelled so _good_. Too bad. He would stay here until he was no longer worried about how people would look at him in the hallway. He looked at the clock. Fuck. He hoped there was something good on Netflix. Thank god for the wifi connection in this place.


	15. The Scene Before the Kitchen Scene

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Longing. Rusted. Furnace. Daybreak. Seventeen. Benign. Nine. Homecoming.
> 
> If you see it coming, I'd like to apologize in advance.

“I am doing this _WRONG,_ ” Vision said, looking angrier than Bucky had ever seen him. He was mixing something in a bowl, concentrating intensely. His eyes were laser focused on the bowl as he mixed with methodical slow strokes at an even rate.

 

“No, you got this!” Bucky said, trying to help. Vision shrugged him away. “You’re doing great,” Bucky said, untying his hair and redoing it. He was going to need a shower—he was getting covered in flour.

 

“aaaaaaAAAAAAARGH!” Vision screamed, continuing to mix.

 

“Hey, just calm down, okay?” Bucky said. “Brownies should be a fun thing, fun to eat, fun to make—“ Despite his encouraging words, he did take a few steps backwards. Vision barely noticed, eyes locked on the mix. “Look at that! You did it. These brownies are going to be great,” Bucky continued, checking to see if there was anything around he could use as a weapon. Just in case. Vision slammed the bowl onto the counter, spilling some brownie mix, and breathing heavily.

 

“I am going to sit down,” Vision said, doing so on the floor in the middle of the kitchen.

 

“Good work, buddy,” Bucky said, steeping around Vision gently and grabbing the bowl. “I’m going to pour this into a pan and get it going.” Bucky found a clear space near the oven where he could pour the mix. “How long have you been here?” Bucky asked, trying to sound nonchalant.

 

“Several hours,” Vision said. That made sense. Bucky noticed that the entire kitchen and some of the lounge was covered in baked goods such as breads, cakes, cookies, even a calzone back there somewhere. Bucky loaded the brownies into the oven and set a timer, then crouched next to Vision.

 

“Are you doing okay?” he asked.

 

“Yes,” Vision sighed. “A few hours ago, when I started, this was a perfect distraction. Now I’m defeated by brownies and I can’t stop thinking about it.”

 

“Hey, those brownies are going to be good,” Bucky smiled. “You mixed them perfectly! What’s on your mind, though?”

 

“It’s Wanda,” Vision said, looking absolutely dejected.

 

“Is she here?” Bucky asked. Vision didn’t answer. Bucky didn’t know what to make of that.

 

“I’m just **longing** for the way things used to be between us,” Vision said. “Now I just feel like a **rusted** piece of machinery.”

 

“I’m going to have a panic attack right now,” Bucky said.

 

“What was that?” Vision asked.

 

“Nothing,” Bucky said, forcing it back down. “You were saying?” Was it claustrophobic in here? Bucky felt uncomfortably warm. Vision continued.

 

“This **furnace** mocks me," Vision said, pointing at the oven and the slowly cooking brownies. "I could be in here until **daybreak** , cooking and baking, and it still wouldn’t help me forget what I’m feeling. I must have baked **seventeen** things by now!”

 

Bucky felt like he couldn’t breathe. He felt weird. He remembered some of Steve’s asthma attacks when they were kids. A fun memory to be the backdrop for trying not to have a panic attack.

 

“Vision, I love you, but I’m going to need you to stop talking for a second,” Bucky said.

 

“I don’t mean to cause you problems, James. My intentions are **benign** ,” Vision said.

 

“Fuck. Just please, stop talking for a moment,” Bucky said, squeezing his eyes shut. “Fuck.” His mind raced at a million miles per second. _I need to ask him to go get Loki before I start having a panic attack or go full Winter Soldier. I can’t do that, he’s clearly having his own crisis over Wanda. Can I excuse myself to the bathroom, and say I don’t feel well? That’s certainly true but I can barely function enough to not have a panic attack, much less move. I need to explain to him about the activation and the words. No, but that’s taking over his crisis again and making it about me.  Fuck. What am I going to do? Even if I told him about the words, I can’t say the last few words without finishing the sequence, and I can’t stop him from accidentally saying them. How does that even work? How likely even is that, to get all of them in a row like that? Who fucking talks like that? I’m going to say I don’t feel well. Fuck. But that’s taking over the conversation and making it about me. But if I don’t say anything, I feel like I’m going to throw up._

 

“I don’t feel—“ Bucky dry heaved before he could finish the sentence.

 

“You’re sick! I’m getting Loki,” Vision stood and whooshed out of the kitchen.

 

 _Good,_ Bucky thought. _I mean, it’s not a medical emergency, but that’s who I need right now. Someone to get in there and make sure it doesn’t happen. And now look at me, I’m a bad friend who can’t even comfort Vision when he’s struggling with his problems without making it about my own inability to function like a normal human being. Fuck._

 

Bucky continued to spiral down in that thought pattern. Eventually, an eternity later, Vision returned with Loki. Bucky felt it before he saw it.

 

 _It’s happening,_ Bucky thought.

 

 _Let me see,_ Loki said. Bucky let everything he was feeling come out in a rush.

 

 _It doesn’t have to happen,_ Loki said. _I can help._

 

 _It’s going to happen,_ Bucky insisted. _Can you put me to sleep or something?_

 

 _It wasn’t the exact sequence,_ Loki said, and he sounded concerned. Bucky felt fingers touching the side of his face. _Bucky, I think this is another panic attack. Your fears that the Winter Soldier is going to take over are what is bringing about that process._

 

_Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck I’m doing it to myself and I can’t stop it I’m doing it to myself I’m horrible I’m out of control I’m_

 

 _I’m right here,_ Loki said. _I’m not going to tell you to calm down; I’m going to help you. focus on my voice._

 

_Can’t can’t can’t fuck help can’t help can’t_

 

 _I’m right here,_ Loki said, more insistently. _Do you want me to tell you a story, something to focus on? I’m not going anywhere._ All of a sudden, it was like the lights went out in Bucky’s head. Loki was alone in a dark room, and the last of the chaotic thoughts had disappeared. A projector screen lit up, suddenly. It was a view of the kitchen. _I’m going out for a second, I’ll be right back,_ Loki promised. He released his hand from Bucky’s face and stood up. At least, he tried to. Something was blocking him from getting out of Bucky’s mind. _Shit,_ Loki said. _We’re fucked._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> See Captain America Civil War for more angst. See the next chapter for more angst, coming soon! Was this fanfiction a mistake? Possibly, but I prefer writing it to doing my homework.


	16. The Kitchen Scene

Minutes earlier: “Loki!” Vision yelled, banging on the green and gold door. “This is no time for singing! We have a medical emergency!”

 

“What’s wrong?” Loki asked, opening the door.

 

“It’s Bucky!” Vision said, trying to grab Loki’s hand and pull him along. Loki was already rushing past him, heading for the kitchen. Vision followed behind.

 

“What happened?” Loki asked, pushing aside a cake. “Why is he covered in flour?”

 

“We were baking, I don’t know!” Vision said, flustered. Loki knelt and put his fingers on Bucky’s temple. The room went deathly still. Vision held his breath. Loki grunted and shifted position, looking uncomfortable. Vision peered down at them. Loki’s hand went limp, and the rest of him collapsed sideways. “Loki? Are you okay?” Vision took a step back to allow Bucky room to stand. Bucky got to his feet, slowly and carefully. He rested a hand on the countertop. His bun had come loose, and his hair concealed his face. “Bucky?” Vision whispered. The metal hand crunched through the stone countertop like it was foam. Bucky looked up, only—Vision noticed too late—it wasn’t Bucky.

 

Vision leapt backwards with inhuman speed, and it almost wasn't enough to save him. The Winter Soldier’s fist closed on air where seconds ago, Vision’s throat had been. Vision hadn’t tested whether or not he was still capable of phasing. He experimentally put his hand on the table. Like a brick wall, or rather, a solid table. Looked like he was fighting this one out. In the seconds he’d been distracted, the Winter Soldier had armed himself—conveniently placed on the countertop was a knife holder.

 

“Oh dear,” Vision gulped.

 

 _Shit,_ Loki said. _What’s going on? Bucky, are you still here?_ He moved closer to the projector screen. A shaky camera shot of the kitchen filled the view—Loki shuddered and realized that it was the view through Bucky’s eyes. That was creepy. Not to mention the fact that he was stuck in here. The “movie” focused on a box of knives. Loki noticed his own body in the background of the shot. At least it looked safe, but that couldn’t be a good sign.

 

There was a switch next to the projector labeled “sound.” Loki flipped it. A crackling sound came through, which soon stabilized into Vision’s voice, yelling for backup and for anyone who could hear to come help. On the screen, a knife flew towards Vision and caught him in the shoulder. Vision screamed. Loki closed his eyes and turned off the sound. He cared about Vision, and he wanted the robot to be okay, but this could only distract him right now. With the sound off, he could still hear echoing noises of fighting. He ran towards it, into the darkness, as fast as he could.

 

Gamora entered the kitchen. She was holding a dirty tupperware and not a sword, Vision noticed. “What’s going on?” She asked.

 

“Look out!” Vision gasped. The Winter Soldier was on her. She threw the tupperware and reached for her weapon, but he was already too close. They grappled, trading punches back and forth. Gamora could take it pretty well, but her attacks barely fazed the Winter Soldier.

 

“Vision! Is this Bucky?” She yelled, ducking under one of the knives brandished in his fist.

 

“No!” Vision yelled back. “He was brainwashed several years ago—it’s not him! Try not to—“

 

“If someone hurts me, I hurt them back,” she said, gritting her teeth. She maneuvered her way past the Winter Soldier long enough to grab one of the other knives. “Vision, get help,” she said, throwing herself back into the action.

 

“I can’t—AAAGH—I can’t move,” Vision said, but she didn’t hear him. The Winter Soldier fought dirty, and she was fighting for her life.

 

 _Come on, come on,_ Loki said, running through the dark. _What’s going on back here?_

 

In a flash, he emerged on a grisly scene. He was a spectator at a grand boxing match illuminated by a dim overhead light swinging back and forth. On one side, a crowd made of people such as Captain America and Falcon cheered. On the other, a faceless horde of people in red colors and Nazi uniforms chanted in unison. In the ring, Bucky was bleeding from a cut over his eye, and fighting the Winter Soldier. Both combatants wore boxing gloves, but there was no referee. Loki was almost crushed in the crowd of people watching the match. _Bucky!_ he yelled, and his voice was lost in the shouting. _Fuck. New plan,_ Loki said.

 

“YAAAGH!” Gamora yelled, thrusting her sword forward. The Winter Soldier caught her arm and flipped over it, throwing her to the ground. He barely made any sounds. He was quick and efficient. He wound up his metal arm for a punch, and Gamora barely rolled out of the way as it slammed into the ground, leaving a small crater in the kitchen floor. Someone below them yelled for quiet. Gamora at least succeeded in disarming her opponent—the knives had been abandoned on the other side of the room, but it looked like he was about to get control of her sword arm. She twisted again, and got on top. She jammed her elbow into his nose, aiming for the vomer bone. “Vision, catch!” She said, throwing the sword out of reach. It was too dangerous to let the Winter Soldier get a weapon to use against her. She tackled him and wrapped an arm around his neck. He threw her again, and she got up again. “I’m only just getting started,” she smiled, wiping the blood of her split lip off her chin.

 

 _Time out!_ Loki yelled, as grandly as he could muster. He’d changed his outfit to a black and white referee costume. _That’s round one! Back to your corners, you beasts!_ That line was from Kinky Boots, but it still seemed to work. Bucky tried to retreat, but the Winter Soldier kept punching and caught him by surprise. _Did you hear me?_ Loki said angrily, stepping into the ring. _Back to your corner!_ He stared down the Winter Soldier, who retreated with an angry glare. His eyes were locked on Bucky. Loki hoped he wasn’t visibly sweating through this referee shirt. He ran over to Bucky with a cold towel and a cup of water.

 

“Wait, he’s stopping!” Vision yelled. Gamora paused. The Winter Soldier had frozen and gone slack. His eyes stared at nothing in the distance.

 

“He could start again at any second,” Gamora said. “Do we have restraints anywhere?”

 

“I—OW—I can go check?” Vision said.

 

“Do that if you can,” Gamora said. “I’ll get him in a hold for now, but it won’t last long if he wakes up again. Can you move?”

 

“Just barely,” Vision said, wincing his way across the floor. Gamora looked him over once and saw that he was in trouble. At least two knives were sticking out of him.

 

“Get into the hallway and call for help,” Gamora said, softly. “I’ll handle things here.”

 

 _I hate to pull comic book therapy on you, but you have to defeat him,_ Loki said, trying to pat Bucky down with the towel. 

 

 _I can’t,_ Bucky said, and he already looked defeated. He was swollen and bruised, and bleeding in a lot of places. The Winter Soldier barely had a scratch on him. _He’s too strong._

 

 _You are stronger than him,_ Loki said, _and he’s more hurt than you. Don’t let him see you looking—he’ll take it as a sign of weakness._ Loki took a moment to pray. If he ever told a believable lie, ever, please let it be this one time. Bucky nodded and kept his eyes on his feet.

 

 _There’s so many people cheering for him,_ Bucky said. _I can feel it. All the…all the programing, and the training, and the conditioning, and the machine that took my memories…_ He was breathing heavily now. Loki hoped he was getting angry and not panicking.

 

 _So many people are cheering for you,_ Loki said. _You are strong enough. Use the anger you’re feeling against them, and defeat him!_

 

 _I can’t,_ Bucky said, voice cracking.

 

 _You’re going to,_ Loki insisted. The Winter Soldier crushed his water cup in a fist and threw it down. The crowd roared. _Don’t do it because I’m telling you to, and don’t do it to get control of your mind back—do it because Steve is in the crowd, and he wants you to win!_ Loki stepped back. _Quick! Get up! You can do it!_

 

Bucky looked up, meeting the Winter Soldier’s eyes. He was angry, and breathing quickly.

 

 _You can do it!_ Loki yelled, and Bucky screamed with frustration and ran towards his opponent.

 

“Shit!” Gamora said. “He’s waking up again, and I can’t hold him forever!”

 

T’challa burst into the kitchen lounge, carrying something metallic. “Vibranium restraints,” he said.

 

“Where did you get them?” Gamora asked, struggling to keep the Winter Soldier down but trying to keep the mood light.

 

“You do not want to know,” T’challa said, moving to her side. “Can you hold him for just one more—“

 

The Winter Soldier screamed, and threw the two of them away. T’challa was ready for him, and he’d already activated his suit. He threw the cuffs to Gamora and leapt at the Winter Soldier, ready to face him in battle again. T’challa smiled. He could still remember a few weaknesses. The Winter Soldier leaned down to grab a knife, and T’challa swept him off his feet. The Soldier still managed to grab a knife, though, and he jammed it into T’challa’s thigh. Gamora tried to come around from behind, but the Winter Soldier flipped back to his feet. She dodged as he swept another kitchen knife, barely grazing the ends of her hair. T’challa, now flanking, used the kinetic energy burst. The Winter Soldier flew in the air and slammed into a wall. Gamora didn’t let up, continuing to kick and punch and make sure he was down.

 

“Any normal man would have passed out by now,” T’challa said, wrestling the Winter Soldier’s human arm with one side of the cuffs.

 

“It’s not Bucky,” Gamora panted, keeping grip on a choke hold and trying to cut off oxygen. “He’s been brainwashed. Vision—aAAAGH!” A knife sliced through her arm, and the Winter Solider had broken loose.

 

“One of the cuffs is attached!” T’challa said. “If we work together, we can finish the job!” Gamora nodded briskly. The two of them stood back to back, heads turned towards their opponent.

 

“Nice knowing you,” Gamora said. The Winter Soldier attacked.

 

In the ring, Bucky was having a tough time. _Keep going!_ Loki yelled, but the man was weak. He’d been fighting this fight for years, Loki realized. _Come on!_ Loki shouted, voice mingling with the crowd. He climbed under the ropes, planning to trap the Winter Soldier from behind and make it easier on Bucky. However, the Winter Soldier was too fast. 

 

 _Loki!_ Bucky shouted. _Don’t go!_ Loki found himself choking, caught in the metal fist. _Not again,_ he thought. _I need you here!_ Bucky yelled. _I can’t defeat him!_

 

 _You’re going to have to,_ Loki said, as everything went black.

 

Loki woke up, gasping for air on the kitchen floor. In front of him, Gamora and T’challa were barely holding their own against the Winter Soldier. Loki looked down. There was a kitchen knife on the ground next to him. “I’m sorry, Bucky,” he whispered, picking up the knife. He stood, legs feeling like jelly, and threw the knife. It seemed to fly in slow motion, past Gamora and T’challa and lodging itself in the Winter Soldier’s side. He staggered, and fell to the side for a moment. That gave Gamora and T’challa all the time they needed to attach the second cuff, pinning the Winter Soldier’s arms, but he was still kicking and fighting.

 

“What did you do?” Gamora asked, turning on him. Loki felt the same instinct to confess everything immediately that only Thor’s hammer on his chest usually gave him.

 

“Nothing! I was trying to help him, but I got stuck. Bucky is in there, fighting to get back out,” Loki promised, coming out from behind the counter. The three of them stared down at the Winter Soldier’s writhing body.

 

“He is going to bleed out if we do not treat him,” T’challa said.

 

“We can’t treat him like this,” Gamora said. “He’ll kill us.”

 

“Then we just have to wait and hope that Bucky wins,” Loki said, settling down in the dust (or was it flour?). Gamora and T’challa sat beside him. The Winter Soldier squirmed, trying to stand up, and screamed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ...part one.


	17. The Kitchen Scene: Part Two

Bucky was not doing well. He did his best to keep fighting, but his face hurt so much. He could barely move his arms anymore, and was trying to just stay out of range. His eye was swelling up. He could barely see through it.

 

The Winter Soldier laughed. _You’re a failure,_ he said. _I’m the real “Bucky.” You’re just pretending you can move on from what happened._

 

_I can move on,_ Bucky said, trying to catch his breath. _I have people to help me. People care about me._

 

The Winter Soldier took a few steps towards Bucky, who braced for impact. It didn't come. The Winter Soldier hopped over the ropes, leaving the boxing ring.

 

_What are you doing?_ Bucky asked.

 

_Remember the time you fought this guy?_ The Winter Soldier said, looking Steve Rogers up and down.

 

_Don’t,_ Bucky said. _I’m still fighting._

 

_You’re weak,_ the Winter Soldier said. _You can’t control me._ Bucky watched in horror as the scene shifted. He was back at SHIELD headquarters, strapped into the chair where Zemo had brainwashed him. He watched the Winter Soldier begin fighting Steve. It was clear from the beginning how well the fight was going to go.

 

_STOP IT!_ Bucky yelled. _FIGHT ME, NOT HIM!_

 

_He’s a memory,_ The Winter Soldier grunted. _And all those have got to go._ A gun appeared in his hand.

 

“I hate to ask, T’challa, but do you have any more of those restraints anywhere?” Loki asked.

 

“I do not know,” T’challa said.

 

“If this is the best we can do, we’ll have to—shit,” Gamora said. The Winter Soldier had braced himself, and vaulted upwards into a standing position. His arms were still cuffed behind his back, but he showed no sign that he was going to surrender. He advanced.

 

“Loki, sit-rep!” Gamora said, drawing her sword.

 

“Vision is in the hallway with two knives sticking out of him, you and T’challa are both injured, and I can’t outfight him,” Loki said. The Winter Soldier kicked at Gamora. She deflected the blow with the sword, but he caught her with a headbutt that sent her reeling for a second.

 

“I need positives,” she said. “The vibranium works, at least. T’challa, get to the lab and fix up something more permanent. I don’t think we’re getting Bucky back.” T’challa left.

 

“We will!” Loki said, standing. “He’s in there, I swear, he just—“

 

“Can you go back in and drag him out?” She asked, grabbing some throwing knives off the ground.

 

“No,” Loki admitted. “And illusory magic isn’t going to be very helpful, because no matter what he sees, he’ll just…keep fighting…Gamora, stand back, I’m going to try something.” Loki concentrated, and a blue light crept over the Winter Soldier’s eyes. He still thrashed about as if he were fighting, but he didn’t come after either of them.

 

“What’s that?” Gamora asked.

 

“Fake versions of you,” Loki said. “About 20 of them. The effect should last for another 10 minutes, maybe more.”

 

“We’re staying back here with the knives,” Gamora said. “No more close contact fighting—if he breaks away, we can pick him off from the other side of the room.”

 

“I don’t know that we can do enough damage to stop him without killing Bucky,” Loki said, hesitating.

 

“I know,” Gamora said, not making eye contact. “Let’s hope T’challa gets back soon.”

 

Bucky’s mind raced. He closed his eyes—he wasn’t going to watch the Winter Soldier destroy Steve, not again. He needed to do something, but what? However he faced the Winter Soldier, he was always the weaker fighter. The answer came to him—he needed to create a situation where he had the upper hand. Bucky focused, concentrating as hard as he could. The sounds of the battle disappeared, and so did the shackles. He opened his eyes to find himself in an art gallery. He smiled.

 

He was surrounded by his paintings, even the ones he’d done back in 1940 that had ended up destroyed. The room was a collection of his favorites among his pieces, and it was beautiful. The biggest painting was behind him. Bucky turned. It was a masterpiece that he had never made. The Winter Soldier was depicted, larger than life, but trapped behind glass.

 

The Winter Soldier pounded on the picture frame, but Bucky couldn’t hear what he was saying. Bucky held up a can of white paint. The Winter Soldier looked nervous for the first time.

 

_This is a temporary fix,_ Bucky said to himself as he worked. _I’m going to need real therapy to try and deal with this, but at least I can end this for now._ He used a paint roller and covered up the Winter Soldier’s frame with dripping white paint. The faint pounding from behind the picture disappeared. Bucky closed his eyes, and when he opened them again, he was back.

 

He found himself, first and foremost, covered in injuries. He winced. There was definitely a knife in him somewhere. Secondly, he noticed that he was in vibranium restraints in the lab. He had to admit, it seemed pretty thorough. He could barely move. Thirdly, he noticed the people standing in front of him. Loki, T’challa, Gamora, the Vision, and Groot all stared at him. He sagged as much as he was able to, wanting to disappear.

 

“He’s back!” Loki said, rushing over to undo the restraints. Gamora held him back, ice in her voice.

 

“We don’t know that,” she said, staring directly at Bucky.

 

“What happened?” Bucky asked. His mouth was dry, and his throat was hoarse.

 

“It’s all right,” Loki said, trying to maneuver his hand somewhere that he could touch skin and offer reassurance. “It wasn’t your fault.” No one said anything.

 

“Really?” Bucky said, a little bit angry. “Because it seems a lot like it was my fault, like it was _me_ attacking everyone. What did I do?” He used to be able to remember the episodes. He wasn’t sure if he was grateful for the memory blanks now that let him sleep at night, or if he hated them for making it clear he had no control.

 

“You…activated in the kitchen,” T’challa said, choosing his words carefully. Bucky wanted to cry.

 

“After everything I did in Wakanda, trying to better myself, and working with Shuri—“

 

“It is all right,” T’challa said.

 

“No, it’s NOT,” Bucky insisted. “Look at Vision! Those are knife marks. Clearly, Loki or Doctor Strange healed everyone, but—AAGH,” he groaned, feeling his own knife mark.

 

“I’m going to heal him,” Loki said.

 

“But—“ Gamora started.

 

“He’s in restraints, and he’s not fighting anymore,” Loki said angrily, rounding on her. “Bucky is our _friend_ and we are going to treat him as such!” Bucky stayed silent, trying to hold back tears as Loki removed the blade and began working his magic.

 

“It would make it easier if you said something,” Loki whispered, not looking up. “The Winter Soldier doesn’t talk.”

 

“I…don’t know what to say,” Bucky said, looking at everyone.

 

“We’re just glad that you’re okay,” Vision said.

 

“I’m so, so sorry, Vision,” Bucky said, doing his best not to cry. “And Gamora, and T’challa, and Loki, I’m just so sorry and I—“

 

“There,” Loki said, standing up and stepping away. “You aren’t going to bleed out anytime soon.” He looked at Gamora. There was a long silence, during which everyone looked at Gamora. She had taken over and become the leader of the little group.

 

“Let’s release him,” Gamora said, at the exact same time Bucky said “I should stay here.” They stared at each other.

 

“You are _not_ staying here,” Loki said. “It’s my opinion, as the closest thing to a therapist that we have, that you should be in the comfortable environment of your room.” Vision and T’challa also started to object.

 

“Okay,” Bucky said slowly, as if he were talking to a child. “So, can we move this setup down to my room?”

 

“Well, no,” Loki started, “But—“

 

“I am Groot,” Groot said. Bucky had forgotten he was in here.

 

“That’s a good idea,” Gamora said.

 

“What?” Bucky asked.

 

“We’ll use magnetic operated handcuffs,” Gamora said. “We can let you down from here and go about your life, but I’ll keep a trigger with me in case this happens again. We could stop you in seconds the next time.”

 

“Yes,” Bucky said, as Loki yelled “No!”

 

“How is _that_ supposed to help him recover?” Loki asked. “He’s fine! He shouldn’t have to wear restraints all the time!”

 

“I’m clearly not fine,” Bucky said, “Otherwise this wouldn’t have happened. I want the restraints.”

 

“Bucky,” Vison said, coming closer. “I know what it feels like to think you’re a danger to you’re friends. I once thought—“

 

“Yeah, but Ultron is gone,” Bucky snapped. “And the Winter Soldier _clearly_ isn’t.” Vision retreated. Gamora nodded at Groot, who grew long tree limbs holding Bucky to the wall. T’challa pushed a button, and the restraints unlatched. Bucky immediately fell forward into Groot’s arms, feeling a million aches and pains.

 

“Let’s get you back to your room—“ Loki started.

 

“The restraints,” Bucky said. “Otherwise no one will be safe.” Loki seemed about to protest again, but stepped back to allow Gamora to bring over the cuffs. Bucky locked them on and flexed. “Ow,” he smiled, masking the pain. “You must be really good.” Gamora grimaced.

 

“I’m going to sleep,” Bucky said, passing out.

 

Gamora, T’challa, Loki, Vision, and Groot stared at each other.

 

“Let’s get him to bed,” Gamora said.

 

“I am Groot.” They carried Bucky back to the third floor and his own bed.

 

“As the closest thing to a therapist we have,” Loki said, “I think we should take a few moments to process this. By which I mean, we should talk about it. Can everyone meet back here in two hours?” Everyone dispersed, ignoring Loki, and looking like they were off to have a lie down too. “Well,” Loki sighed, sitting down on the ground, “at least that’s over.” He sat outside Bucky’s door, ready in case Bucky woke up and needed a friend. There was still flour in his hair.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Who knew when I started this story that it was going to go this badly? Gee whiz. Even I'm shook, and I wrote it. Let's go back to random fluff.


	18. Chapter 18

5pm came and went. It was now 5:30pm. It had been a long day. The Guardians of the Galaxy (minus Rocket, of course, because no one had seen him arrive in the building) and Vision had decided to forego their poker game in favor of laying on the floor. Vision and Gamora both had to lean against the walls to stay mostly upright and prevent blood loss, but Drax, Mantis, Starlord, and Groot had arranged themselves so that all their heads pointed to the center near where Vision and Gamora sat.

 

“Are you sure you’re okay?” Vision asked.

 

“I am Groot,” Groot said, flexing a branch.

 

“If only all of us could heal like that,” Gamora winced, shifting slightly.

 

“We should become doctors,” Drax said, “and then we would heal many people.”

 

“That’s not what we do,” Peter said, sitting up. “Babe I’d heal you first though and you wouldn’t even feel anything right now.”

 

“Shove off,” Gamora said, proceeding to shove Quill back to the ground.

 

“Love you babe!” he said.

 

“That is very sweet,” Vision said.

 

“Yeah, I was worried Gamora died or something and that I didn’t say it enough. Never making _that_ mistake again.” Peter looked like he was very serious, but his tone of voice screamed “joke”. “Two points! Point 1: I love you babe. Point 2: Tomorrow, I’m going to go down to the gym and start working out. I’m gonna do it; I’m gonna look like the pirate angel!”

 

“He was very attractive,” Drax said. Mantis, Gamora, and Groot nodded their heads respectfully.

 

“Are you okay, Vision?” Gamora asked.

 

“I have been ‘patched up’ by both Loki and Doctor Strange,” Vision said, absentmindedly finding the knife wounds on his body. “The Doctor is going to visit me periodically and ensure that I’m healing.”

 

“We don’t have anybody who can fix you?” Peter asked. “What about that kid, Spiderman? He’s really good in the lab.”

 

“I’m not bringing him into this,” Vision said. “The less he knows about the various emotional traumas we’re all dealing with, the better. He’s just a kid.”

 

“What is your trauma?” Drax asked.

 

“Nothing,” Vision lied, a little bit too quickly.

 

“You are lying,” Drax said.

 

“You got me,” Vision said. “I have abdominal trauma from knives.”

 

“Ha! You cannot lie to me,” Drax said, resettling. “I am too smart.” Gamora and Vision locked eyes. _Later_ , Vision mouthed. She nodded.

 

“I love you, babe,” Peter said, holding Gamora’s hand.

 

“I am Groot!”

 

Everyone laughed, and soon enough, they drifted off to a pleasant sleep in a cuddling puddle in the hallway.


	19. Chapter 19

“It’s not talking to yourself if you’re meditating,” Loki said.

 

“Oh is that what you call it now? Meditating? Wow! I had no idea that this how you meditate!” Loki said, imitating Thor by making his voice sound deeper and weird. Loki sighed, and conjured an image of Thor.

 

“Hey there, image of Thor,” Loki said. “Now _you’re_ the one who’s not here.”

 

“I am here,” Thor said. “Why wouldn’t I be?”

 

“I’m just so…so… _tired_ of it all, you know?” Loki said, flopping onto the bed.

 

“You could fake your death again,” Thor said.

 

“It won’t work living in such close quarters with these people,” Loki sighed, “and the time to do it would have been when the Winter Soldier stabbed everyone.”

 

“Also, if you faked your death _again,_ I would kill you,” Thor said. Loki noticed that the image of Thor had a hammer, and was tapping it threateningly. Oops. Not a mistake Loki would make in his next round of crazy talking to himself.

 

“I think Wanda and Vision should talk to each other, you know?” Loki said, playing with his hair and lying face up on the bed. “Communication is the key to every relationship.”

 

“You are a good brother and I love you,” Thor said. Loki grimaced.

 

“You will not betray me again, because if you do, I will kill you!” Thor roared.

 

“I miss the way it was before we started hanging out on Midgard,” Loki said.

 

“Please. Don’t tell me you miss your 2013 “oh look at me, I’m Loki, I’m so dark and edgy, and all the girls love me and want me to have sex with them, but I don’t care because I’m so evil and I’m just going to make the whole world kneel, and—“

 

“Shut it,” Loki said, blushing. “I don’t miss the 2013 Loki, okay? That was not… that’s not…I…”

 

“Oh Loki!” Thor mocked, now in a high pitched voice. “Come to comic con and tell us you’re burdened with glorious purpose!”

 

“Shut it!” Loki said, throwing a pillow across the room. The pillow passed right through the image of Thor, and Loki remembered that he was talking to himself. He plowed on anyway. “There are multiple reasons we don’t talk about that anymore. The first of which is that Thanos had hired me to terrorize Earth anyway, so it wasn’t directly my fault. The second is that people used put pictures of us engaged in incest all over the internet, but thankfully, I figured out how to block that so I don’t have to deal with it anymore. And thirdly—“

 

“You’re definitely a bottom, and you were just pretending to be into that “kneeling” stuff?” Thor suggested.

 

“I’m a power bottom,” Loki said, “and it’s none of your business.”

 

“Tell me about the robot creature,” Thor said.

 

“Wait, no, Thor knows him,” Loki said.

 

“Tell me about Vision,” Thor said. “How is he doing?”

 

“I don’t think he knows that Wanda is hiding from him on the 5th floor, but he certainly spends a good portion of the day moaning about how much he misses her. And you recall what happened the last time I tried to convince her to come down?” Loki and Thor both winced at the memory. Wanda was powerful, more so than any other magic user in the building. Loki was pretty sure that with enough concentration (or a lack of a reason to hold back) she could rip apart the very fabric of the universe. And she really got into his head.

 

The image of Thor briefly flickered and appeared as the broken and dying Thor from the vision Wanda had gifted him with. Loki dismissed it, angrily, and flopped down onto the bed as dramatically as he could manage. He didn’t want to lay here. He was bored—no, bored was the wrong word. He didn’t want to be alone with his thoughts anymore. He decided to check on Bucky.


	20. Chapter 20

Bucky was in the lab with Spiderman when Loki found him.

 

“It’s so late,” Loki said. “What are you doing up?”

 

“Can’t sleep,” Bucky said, looking away.

 

“And you, child?” Loki rounded on Peter. “You’re enabling him?”

 

“I couldn’t sleep either, Mr. Loki!” Peter blurted. “And I was here anyway working on my web shooters!”

 

“What are you doing now?” Loki asked, moving closer to the table. Peter had opened up Bucky’s left arm with some tools and was rummaging around.

 

“Tinkering,” Bucky said. He wouldn’t meet Loki’s eyes.

 

“Mr. Bucky wanted me to see if I could set up a remote to manually shut off the arm,” Peter said. “This is so cool! I’ve never seen anything like this up close, and I—“

 

“You want to be able to remotely turn off your arm?” Loki asked. Bucky nodded.

 

“I want other people to be able to remotely turn off this arm,” Bucky said carefully.

 

“It’s your _arm_ ,” Loki said.

 

“It’s a _weapon,_ and I got by just fine without it when I was in Wakanda,” Bucky said.

 

“Can you give us a moment, Peter?” Loki said, turning on the charm. Peter tried to close up the arm, but Bucky waved him off. Peter left, looking back over his shoulder as the door closed.

 

“Well?” Bucky was defensive.

 

“Nice bracelets,” Loki said. “Are those new?”

 

“I can’t be trusted,” Bucky said. 

 

“You’re sick,” Loki said. “You have a disorder and there is no way for you to just start controlling it immediately.”

 

“This is controlling it!” Bucky said, holding up his wrists. The vibranium restraints, currently inactive, gleamed in the harsh light of the lab.

 

“This is _not_ controlling it!” Loki said, grabbing Bucky’s arms. “This is fear!”

 

“Maybe people _should_ be afraid of me if I can’t control my own brain,” Bucky said, getting very close to yelling.

 

“Maybe humans keep putting padlocks on things they need to be giving love and support,” Loki retorted.

 

“Maybe you’re not talking about me, you’re talking about New York and how _you_ got chained up,” Bucky said, “and maybe that memory is preventing you from realizing that this is an understandable precaution—“

 

“Is deactivating your arm an ‘understandable precaution?’” Loki asked.

 

“I didn’t need it in Wakanda,” Bucky said. “I hate it. It’s not mine. If I could take it off without hurting myself, I would.”

 

Loki paused. “You would rather not have an arm?” He was perplexed.

 

“It’s not mine,” Bucky insisted, tucking his hair behind one ear. “Hydra gave it to me to make me a better weapon.”

 

“And T’challa gave you this arm because he thought it would help you,” Loki said, softening. “I have an idea. Peter, come back in. We know you’re listening.”

 

“I wasn’t listening,” Peter said, reentering the lab and looking embarrassed.

 

“Teach Bucky to fix his own arm,” Loki sighed.

 

“Like in the old Star Wars movies with Luke and his metal arm?” Peter lit up. “Ned loves Star Wars!”

 

“Yes, yes, whatever,” Loki said, turning back to Bucky. “I’m going to make you a toolkit that you can wear on your waist. Anytime you want, you can open up your system and make sure that it’s doing what you want. _That’s_ control.”

 

“Like Batman’s utility belt!” Peter gasped. Loki took a deep breath, and let it out very slowly.

 

“Yes. Like Batman’s utility belt. It will also be able to hold art supplies,” Loki continued, trying to look cool and not like he was supporting his friend. _Ha ha, look at me, I’m Loki, so dark and emo,_ Thor said. _I don’t support my friends, it’s a coincidence!_ “Shut up,” Loki said, and realized that he’d spoken aloud. “I will be in my room,” Loki said, leaving quickly.

 

“I can show you what I’m doing,” Peter said. “I can stand on the ceiling so it’ll be closer to the angle you’d be working at.”

 

“You can do that?” Bucky asked. Peter did a backflip and landed on the ceiling. “Wow.”

 

“I practiced, “ Peter said, glowing. “I’m really acrobatic now.”

 

“That was really good,” Bucky smiled. “Show me what you’re doing down here.” 

 

“Okay. What are the bracelets, though?” Peter asked, gathering up his tools and webbing them to the ceiling.

 

“I don’t want to talk about it,” Bucky said.

 

“If you don’t tell me, I’ll just hear it from somebody else,” Peter started. Bucky glared at him. “I didn’t mean that,” he backtracked.

 

“No, you’re right,” Bucky sighed. “Let’s keep working, and I’ll tell you.” Peter bent down over Bucky, feet planted firmly to the ceiling.

 

“Like Luke Skywalker,” he whispered, concentrating. Bucky let himself chuckle.


	21. Day Three Begins

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow. All of this in two days? I'm either majorly messing up the timeline of this story, or everything has gone to shit. Oh wait--it kinda has

“We need to talk,” Loki said.

 

“What about?” Vision asked. The two of them were alone in the kitchen lounge.

 

“We can’t stay here,” Loki said.

 

“Do we have many options?” Vision laughed, but his eyes were sad and full of hopelessness.

 

“It’s…” Loki clenched his fist. “Things are breaking faster than I can fix them.”

 

“There’s a lot going on,” Vision said soothingly. “You’re the only magic user on the third floor. Of course you’re feeling overwhelmed.”

 

“Shut up!” Loki snapped, looking away. He turned back to Vision, blushing and almost daring Vision to comment. “Not you, Vision. Um. That’s what I’m talking about, though.”

 

“What’s happened?” Vision was all business.

 

“I’m going crazy,” Loki said, sitting on the couch. He put his head in his hands. “That’s gotta be it. Everyone on this floor is cracking up, and so am I.”

 

“Hey, that’s not true,” Vision said, sitting next to him. Vision awkwardly put a hand around Loki’s shoulder. 

 

“Which part,” Loki muttered, “because I’m definitely going crazy.” Thor sat in the kitchen and waved. Loki smushed his palms against his face.

 

“Peter is doing okay,” Vision said. 

 

“He’s a child,” Loki said. “And I notice you don’t include yourself on the list of people that are ‘doing okay.’”

 

“You’re under a lot of stress,” Vision said, applying gentle pressure. “You shouldn’t be up this early. Try to get some sleep. Yesterday, you were therapist, doctor, and various other jobs all at once. That must take a lot of power—You’re exhausted.”

 

“Remember how, the last time we were in Midgard, everyone wanted to take a selfie with _me_ and not you?” Thor said. “Doesn’t that make you jealous?”

 

“I should take a shower,” Loki said. “Clear my mind.”

 

“You should go to sleep,” Vision said. “If we need a magic user, we’ll get Doctor Strange. You need rest.”

 

“You think I want to go get that snarky wizard for any reason, even without the fact that Bucky hates him?” Loki stopped when he heard a sudden cough.

 

Bucky had silently entered the kitchen, wearing an apron and holding pancake mix. Loki hadn’t even heard him come in. He was still wearing the handcuffs, but at least he had something resembling a toolkit with him. One therapy patient at a time, Loki thought, groaning inwardly and hoping he was doing a good job.

 

“I was just going to make breakfast,” Bucky pointed at the kitchen.

 

“Of course,” Vision said. “Go right ahead. Did you—“

 

“Fuck. I didn't mean that,” Loki said. “And I know you heard. It’s not that I think you can’t handle being around people you don’t like, but—“

 

“No, I’m fine with getting Doctor Strange,” Bucky said, carefully not making eye contact as he tied his hair back and began setting up the pans. “He’s a magic user, we need one of those, you’re clearly exhausted.” There wasn’t even a hint of bitterness in his voice.

 

“But…” Loki said.

 

“Look,” Bucky said, firmly placing a hand on the counter top. “It is no one’s business who I like and who I don’t like. I am not going to start liking Doctor Strange. I am not going to forgive Tony Stark. But, I _am_ going to make sure that my friend doesn’t die from overwork just because _I_ can’t get my shit together.”

 

“It’s not just you,” Vision said. 

 

“It feels like it’s just me,” Bucky said, turning around, barely keeping anger out of his voice.

 

“We’re all having problems,” Vision said. “You’re not the only one who needs comic-book-visualization-therapy.”

 

“Shut UP!” Loki yelled, staring at nothing. He looked up when he noticed that both Bucky and Vision stared at him. “I’m going to bed,” Loki said, leaving.

 

“I see,” Bucky said. “We’re all screwed.”

 

“Not Peter,” Vision mused. “I wonder if there’s a reason he’s here, when everyone else is—“

 

“We are leaving Peter the fuck out of this,” Bucky said. “We are leaving Peter the fuck out of all of this. He’s just a kid.”

 

“You’re right,” Vision said. “Mind if I help you cook breakfast?”

 

“Only if you don’t give me a panic attack,” Bucky smiled. Vision coughed. “That was a joke,” Bucky said. 

 

“This floor is a joke,” Vision muttered, coming into the kitchen. He shaped the front of his outfit into an apron. “Let’s make some pancakes.”


	22. Chapter 22

Back in his room, Loki watched Thor jump up and down on the bed.

 

“You think I still have any sense of dignity left?” Loki demanded, half crazed. “I’ll sleep on the floor! It’ll be just as comfortable!”

 

“Don’t sleep. Talk to me,” Thor said.

 

“You’re not real,” Loki said, grabbing a pillow and resolving to sleep on the floor. Thank god the door was locked and no one was watching this—he wanted to maintain at least the illusion of dignity.

 

“I am, though,” Thor said, ceasing to jump and sitting on the edge of the bed.

 

“No, you’re not,” Loki said, turning to his other side so he couldn’t see the image of his brother. 

 

“I am!” Thor insisted.

 

“Then why am I the only one who can see or hear you?” Loki asked, sarcastically. He hadn’t meant to engage with the crazy today, but he couldn’t stop himself.

 

“Just because I…that’s…” Thor paused, thinking.

 

“Ha!” Loki said, sitting up. “Got you!”

 

“I remember Stark Expo,” Thor said, staring off into the distance.

 

“You what?” Loki stood now. “Get off the bed! You are my imagination, and this is proof you aren’t the real Thor! What’s ‘Stark Expo?’”

 

“I was there with Steve,” Thor said, wistfully. “He was never as excited as I was. I loved technology, stuff like that. When Howard Stark said that we could have flying cars in just a few years, I thought I could fly right then.”

 

“What is happening,” Loki said, more to himself than the imaginary Thor.

 

“That was what I was going to do after the military,” Thor said. “I was going to go back to school and learn to invent things. I was going to work for Howard Stark and ‘create the future.’”

 

“I don’t like this,” Loki said. “Stop it.”

 

“And Wakanda…it was beautiful, and so much closer to what I thought the world would look like by now,” Thor said. “That was the life.”

 

“What is happening!” Loki yelled. Thor didn’t respond; didn’t even look at him.

 

“I still like science and technology stuff,” Thor said. “It’s just this arm, and my stupid brain. I can’t reconcile my love of science with the knowledge that science made me like this.”

 

“Wait,” Loki said, moving closer. “Bucky?”

 

“These handcuffs are going to give me a panic attack,” Thor said, finally looking Loki in the eyes. “They remind me too much of what it was like to be bolted down in the compound. But if I take them off, I’ll hurt someone again.”

 

“Bucky?” Loki asked again. He touched Thor’s cheek. He didn’t feel anything. Thor wasn’t there.

 

“The pancakes are burning,” Thor said, and his head snapped back.

 

“Bucky! I’m right here, don’t go away—“ Loki started.

 

“Remember when we went to Midgard, and everyone wanted to take a selfie with _me_ and not with—“ Thor started talking again, but Bucky wasn’t there.

 

“Bucky!” Loki yelled, charging back out of his room. He reentered the kitchen. Vision and Bucky were working together to make pancake shapes. While Bucky steadied Vision’s arm, his own pancakes had started to burn.

 

“Take the handcuffs off then,” Loki said, as if everything was obvious. Bucky and Vision stared at him. Loki noticed that Spiderman and some Asgardians were also in the room.

 

“Excuse me?” Bucky said.

 

“If they’re going to give you a panic attack, take them off,” Loki said, very slowly, like he was speaking to a child.

 

“What?” Bucky was confused.

 

“You were just talking to me! Telling me that you miss Wakanda, and Stark Expo, and—“

 

“How the—“ Bucky looked down at the kid, then back up. “How did you know I was thinking about that?” He was angry.

 

“You just…” Loki paused. “You just told me, just now. But…Shit.” Loki left the room. What was happening to him?


	23. Chapter 23

Loki was resigned to it now. “You know those days where you think ‘This might as well happen?’” Loki tried to quote. Which great human poet had said that? John Mulaney, he remembered. Yes—a true renaissance man.

 

“I miss Wanda,” Thor said. Loki banged the side of his head into the wall.

 

This was the new plan: he was going to sit here on the floor in the hallway, and every time he imagined that Thor said something to him, he was going to bang the side of his head into the wall. Eventually, he would get a concussion, or someone would notice. Maybe if Doctor Strange came down to fix an injury, Doctor Strange could try being everyone’s therapist, not Loki.

 

“Midgardians are better at making food than I would have thought,” Thor said. _Thump._

 

“I want everyone to get out of my head,” Thor said. _Thump._

 

“Loki wasn’t so bad when he was pretending to be Odin. I’m partial to musical theater myself, I’ve never been a fan of—“ _Thump._

 

“I hope Loki is okay. He’s been acting very strangely over the past few—“ _Thump._

 

“Can you stop?” Loki asked. “For just, like, five minutes? Or an hour, so I could take a nap?”

 

“I miss Ned,” Thor said. _Thump._

 

“Who the fuck is Ned?” Loki sighed.

 

“What?” Peter asked. The kid had emerged from the kitchen with a plate of pancakes.

 

“Are those for me?” Loki asked, breath catching in his throat.

 

“Yeah, um. I thought you might be hungry?” Peter asked, looking nervous.

 

“Thank you,” Loki said. He didn’t have enough will to stand up and collect the plate, but that was all right, because the boy came and sat down next to him. “Thank you,” Loki said again.

 

“WHAT DID YOU SAY WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY,” Thor yelled. _Thump._

 

“Why are you doing that?” Peter asked.

 

“No reason,” Loki said.

 

“What did you say?” Peter asked, trying to look nonchalant. “Just now, I mean. When I came out of the lounge.”

 

“I said ‘Who the fuck is Ned,’” Loki sighed. “Happy?”

 

“HOW DO YOU KNOW NED?!?!?” Thor yelled. _Thump._

 

“How do you—“ Peter began.

 

“I don’t,” Loki said. “I’m going crazy, and imagining that my brother is talking to me.”

 

“I hope he’s okay,” Thor said. _Thump._

 

“I’m sorry,” Peter said. “But…what did he say about Ned?”

 

“He misses Ned,” Loki said, banging his head against the wall once more for good measure.

 

“I was thinking about that,” Peter said slowly. “Ned is my best friend. I do miss him…”

 

“So?” Loki asked, dejectedly eating a pancake. It was very good.

 

“And earlier, when you came in, you said that you heard Bucky talking to you…” Peter seemed almost to be thinking aloud.

 

“Can you read minds?” Thor asked.

 

“WHAT?” Loki yelped, forgetting to thump his head on the wall. He turned to Peter. “I hope the fuck I _CANNOT_ read minds!”

 

“AAH!” Peter said. “But you did! Just now!”

 

“No I didn’t!” Loki said. “I’m going crazy!”

 

“Gotta think of a color to test him. No, a number. No, don’t think about sex, just don’t—“ Thor was speaking very quickly.

 

“Dear GODS,” Loki groaned, putting his hands over his ears. “Please stop thinking about that.”

 

“SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT” Thor started repeating.

 

“AAGH! I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to!” Peter yelled. “You can read minds!”

 

“No, I can’t!” Loki insisted. “How would that even be possible?”

 

“I don’t know!” Peter said. “You’re magical?”

 

“Not like that,” Loki sighed. “I’ve never done anything close to that before, and reading minds is the sort of thing that takes a lot of concentration.”

 

Thor kneeled down, next to Loki, a very different expression on his face. “Maybe you’re broken,” Thor said. Loki could tell it wasn’t Peter’s thoughts. “You’ve been to a lot of crazy places, and done all sorts of things, but this is the one that breaks you. You’re going to fall apart, just like Bucky is doing, just like everyone else here is doing.”

 

“We need a second opinion,” Loki said. “If this is a magical problem, we need Doctor Strange.”

 

“What if it isn’t?” Peter asked. “A problem, I mean. You can—”

 

“It’s definitely a problem,” Loki said. “But there is the chance that this isn’t a magical problem, but some sort of mental issue that I’m having.”

 

Thor smiled evilly. “Now you’re getting it,” he encouraged. “You’re broken.”

 

“I didn’t mean to think about…um…you know, again,” Peter blushed. “I’m sorry.”

 

“I can’t hear your thoughts right now,” Loki said. “Let’s just skip over the agony of trying to decide whether or not to get Doctor Strange. He’s kind of an asshole sometimes. I’m going to the 5th floor.”

 

“That floor says ‘Do not disturb’ in the elevator,” Peter said.

 

“Yeah, it does,” Loki said. 

 

“You should go with someone, just in case you need help,” Peter said.

 

“TAKE ME TAKE ME TAKE ME,” Thor yelled. “I’M VERY CURIOUS ABOUT IT BUT I DON’T WANT TO ASK DIRECTLY.”

 

“You can’t come,” Loki smiled. “Too dangerous. And I can’t take Vision, or anyone that I only just met and don’t really trust yet…hm. That leaves—Shit.”

 

“You swear a lot for someone who’s supposed to be a god,” Peter said, looking uncomfortable.

 

“I gotta take Bucky,” Loki said.


	24. Chapter 24

“This couldn’t wait until after breakfast?” Bucky asked.

 

“No, it could not,” Loki said, dragging him towards the elevator. Loki was fully aware that Bucky was letting himself be dragged. Loki vowed to start working out.

 

“And you invited me, and not Vision, because…?” Bucky asked.

 

“You’re gonna see real fucking soon,” Loki muttered.

 

“And where are we going?” Bucky asked.

 

“The fifth floor,” Loki sighed. They reached the elevator, and he pushed the button to call it.

 

“I get the feeling that whoever lives up there doesn't want us up there,” Bucky said.

 

“It’s mostly magic users,” Loki said, uncomfortably. “But I don’t think we’ll see Doctor Strange. No one spends a lot of time there, except…” He stopped talking.

 

“Something is wrong with you,” Bucky said, jokingly. He watched Loki’s facial expression shift slightly, and instantly he became serious. “Something is wrong. Are you okay?”

 

“I will be, as soon as—Ah! The elevator,” Loki said, entering. Bucky followed, twisting the “bracelets” around his wrists nervously.

 

“What’s up there?” Bucky asked. “What should I be ready for?”

 

The elevator stopped on the 5th floor. The door opened, and the two were bathed in red light.

 

“Loki,” Bucky said, as calmly as he could manage, “If Wanda is living up here, and you knew but didn’t tell Vision—“

 

“I tried, okay?” Loki said. “I’ve been up here twice. Both times, Wanda…her powers are very strong. And very versatile. And very good at figuring out what to show you to make you stop what you’re doing.”

 

“Did she threaten you?” Bucky asked.

 

“Not really,” Loki winced. “But I think she’s accidentally cursed me.”

 

“ _She_ is right here,” Wanda said, leaving her room. “ _She_ can hear you.”

 

“Look, I know the last time I came up here, I said I was going to tell Vision that you’re here, and that you can’t stop me, but we’ve learned that you clearly can stop me, okay? So please, just—SHIT,” Loki broke off, staring at nothing in midair.

 

“Loki?” Bucky waved his hand in front of his face. “You in there?”

 

“I didn’t do it on purpose,” Loki was whispering. “It’s not my fault, it’s not…”

 

“What are you doing here?” Wanda asked.

 

“Hey, Wanda,” Bucky said. “I have no idea. Loki’s having a problem.”

 

“Why did you come to me about it?” She asked, turning around.

 

“Loki had a reason, okay?” Bucky said. “And he wanted backup, and I owe him one. I owe him a couple, actually. What are you doing to him?”

 

“I don’t know,” she said, voice cracking a little bit. “My powers…are kind of…broken?” Bucky saw a flash of Steve, back before the war and the serum, dying of pneumonia in Bucky’s old apartment.

 

“I see,” Bucky said, and his voice was hoarse. “Can you make it stop happening to him?”

 

“I can try,” Wanda said, concentrating and tensing her fingers. She closed her eyes and traced some gentle patterns in the air. Loki, gasping for air, returned to reality.

 

“What is your problem?” Loki asked, wiping the corner of his eye.

 

“Can you please just tell her what’s going on before…” Bucky didn’t know how to end that sentence.

 

“So, I think you cursed me,” Loki said, looking at his feet.

 

“I can’t control my powers,” Wanda said. “It wasn’t intentional, if it was me. How do you—“

 

“It looks like the other thing,” Loki said, shuffling a toe on the ground.

 

“What have you been seeing?” Wanda asked.

 

“Well, just now, pretty basic ‘death at the hands of Thanos’ stuff for me and Thor,” Loki said, looking at Bucky. “But, umm…”

 

“If you don’t tell me what you’re seeing, I can’t fix it,” she said.

 

“I’m just worried that it’s not you, and that I really _am_ crazy, all right?” Loki said, looking at Bucky. “And I don’t want people to know if I really _am_ cracking up, you know?”

 

Bucky nodded to show that he understood. Loki sighed.

 

“I’ve been seeing my brother near me,” Loki said. “And he seems to be saying people’s thoughts out loud. That, or voicing things that I try to avoid thinking about.”

 

“Can you see him right now?” Wanda asked. Loki looked up. Thor waved joyfully from behind her.

 

“Yup,” Loki said. Bucky stood behind him, offering a hand on his shoulder for comfort.

 

“What is he saying?” Wanda asked. Thor smiled angrily.

 

“He says…” Loki paused, listening, then quoted: “He says, ‘I killed him, and it wasn’t enough. How can I ever face him again? He died twice, and I killed him, and it wasn’t enough. I—‘“

 

“That’s enough,” Wanda said, cutting him off. “So,” she said briskly. “You’re seeing a copy of your brother, and he’s letting you read minds.”

 

“Please tell me this is your fault,” Loki said. She glared at him, and red light lit up behind her eyes. “I mean, that you can fix it,” Loki corrected, worried he was due for another shot of magical nightmare vision.

 

“Let me concentrate for a moment and see if I can find it,” Wanda said. She sat on the ground and closed her eyes. Bucky sat too. Loki joined them.

 

“I’m…” Loki started, but he couldn’t finish it.

 

“You don’t have to say it,” Bucky said.

 

“I’m scared,” Loki said, leaning closer. “I’m worried I—“

 

“You’re just going to work yourself up,” Bucky said. “What’s something you like? Tell me about that.”

 

“I like…poptarts,” Loki said. He glared at Bucky, as if daring him to show a hint of judgement.

 

“Keep going,” Bucky said gently.

 

“I like… my hair. I like my friends,” Loki continued. “Why am I…?”

 

“Because it’ll make Thor be quieter,” Bucky said, leaning back on his elbows. “Usually works for me.”

 

“I like listening to music,” Loki said.

 

“I found it,” Wanda said, eyes still closed in concentration. “I see it.”

 

“What’s happening to me?” Loki asked.

 

“It is partially my magic,” Wanda grimaced, focusing on something only she could see. “I can remove the part that’s letting you hear people’s thoughts.” Loki’s heart fell.

 

“That means I’m going crazy,” Loki said.

 

“I…maybe?” She ventured, opening her eyes. “This whole building…my magic is having a reaction to it too.” She gestured at the red light filling the hall. “I’m not doing this because I like it,” she said. “I’m going to do my best to patch this up. Hold on a second.”

 

“What are we going to do?” Loki asked.

 

“What do you mean?” Bucky asked.

 

“We’re… you know,” Loki said.

 

“We’re going to make it through together,” Bucky said. “Everyone on the third floor will help us. We’re all a network, and we’ll all help each other. We’ll all get better.”

 

“You can’t lie to me; I practically invented that,” Loki sighed. “If you really believed that, you wouldn’t…” He drifted off. Bucky looked down at his hands, and took a deep breath. He pulled the handcuff key from his pocket and started detaching the bracelets. The work complete, he dropped them to the ground where they landed with a loud “clank.”

 

“We’re going to be fine,” Bucky said. Loki thought he was going to cry if Bucky did anything else that sweet. They hugged. Wanda reopened her eyes.

 

“Come back if it gets worse,” she said, standing up.

 

“Wait, why aren’t you coming down with us?” Bucky said, confused. “Vision misses you so much! He—“

 

“Please leave,” Wanda whispered, entering her room and closing the door.

 

“Let’s go,” Loki said. “The last time I mentioned Vision to her…” he gulped. Loki and Bucky reentered the elevator and returned to the third floor.


	25. Chapter 25

Vision, Loki, and Bucky all sat in the lounge. Vision was reading. Bucky had a sketchbook and was drawing. Loki was doing some weird thing where he kept flicking his hand open and closed repeatedly.

 

“We’ve certainly made life difficult for anyone else to enjoy living on this floor, haven’t we?” Loki said into the silence. Bucky hunched closer over his sketchbook. Vision did his best not to groan angrily. Loki returned to the flicking motion.

 

Finally, Vision couldn’t take it anymore. As wonderful as the book _Blade Runner_ was, he couldn’t stand sitting here with the flicking anymore. He inserted a bookmark, and stood to leave. He could always find a place with the Guardians. As he stood though, Loki winced. He ceased the flicking motion, and with the same hand, held up his fingers like he was turning a dial. Vision looked closely, and noticed a flickering of green light around the edges of Loki’s hand.

 

“What are you doing?” Vision asked.

 

“One second,” Loki said, focusing as he turned the imaginary dial. He shook himself off for a second, trying to clear his head. “What?”

 

“What are you doing?” Vision asked, genuinely curious.

 

“Banishing spell,” Loki said. “Fairly simple, really,” he smiled, leaning back in his lounge-y chair. He flicked his fingers again. Vision noticed the same green glow.

 

“And what’s that?” Vision pointed.

 

Loki sat up, looking uncomfortable. “That would be the banishing spell,” he admitted. Vision closed his eyes and took a deep breath.

 

“Just so that I understand,” Vision said, maintaining control of his voice, “you have been performing this banishing spell every two seconds for the past thirty minutes? _Why_?”

 

“Maybe it’s a personal matter,” Loki said, sticking his chin up. Vision turned to go, but he was still interested in the spell, despite himself. Wanda was so good at magic, but he’d never seen her do anything like that before. She must be more powerful and not have to keep re-doing her spells, he thought.

 

“What was…?” Vision mimed the dial turning.

 

“Oh, this?” Loki said, holding up his hand again. The dial appeared in midair, glowing a bright green. “I was just turning up the power a little bit.”

 

“It’s set to maximum,” Vision noticed.

 

“Yep, it is,” Loki grunted.

 

“It’s wearing you out,” Vision said. “Why can’t you do a more permanent spell? You wouldn’t have to be doing this…this…”

 

“The flicking thing you’ve been doing for thirty minutes,” Bucky said, not looking up. He held up his drawing. It was a fairly realistic sketch of Loki’s hand, mid spell.

 

“I…didn’t realize I was doing it that frequently,” Loki admitted, blushing. “It…doesn’t really work, anyway. More of a placebo.”

 

Vision nodded and sat down next to Loki. “Is it…for…” He wasn’t sure how to say this delicately.

 

“It’s for banishing negative thoughts,” Loki said, looking away and blushing harder. “Don’t judge me, okay? I—“

 

“Can you show me how to do it?” Vision blurted. Bucky looked up. Vision was glad that his entire face was red all the time, thus sparing him any visible sign of embarrassment.

 

“I…don’t know,” Loki said, looking Vision up and down as if to appraise him. “Some people have a talent for magic. And you were integrated with an infinity stone for so long, you might be able to do it.”

 

“I don’t really care if I can?” Vision hesitated, not sure of how to express himself. “Placebo effect, right?”

 

“Yeah,” Loki smiled. “Here, this is how I do it.” Loki tapped each of his fingers against his thumb, making a partially closed fist. He then flicked his fingers outwards, flexing every muscle in his hand. A tiny green glow burst from his fingertips for a moment, then faded. Vision tried the motion. “No, no, that’s too methodical,” Loki fussed. “Like this.” Loki did it again. Vision copied. “Better,” Loki nodded. “Keep practicing, and you might be able to produce a visible spark. It still works even if you don’t though,” he added quickly.

 

Vision stared at his hand and flicked it open and closed. “Aren’t you going to ask what I want to banish?” he asked.

 

“No,” Loki shook his head, and stared out the window. Today, it was a scene of a beautiful beach. “Everyone’s got something.”

 

Vision continued staring at his hand, practicing the motion, sometimes closing his eyes in concentration. He was lost in thought. Loki watched him for a few moments, then picked up _Blade Runner_ and turned to the first page. What harm could it do to see what Vision was reading?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Get pumped for a nice, mostly angst-free chapter coming up next!


	26. Chapter 26

“I…” Loki whispered, a tear coming to his eye. “I…” He put his head in his hands.

 

“Shh, just let it out, buddy,” Peter said, gently patting Loki on the back.

 

“It was just so good?!?!?” Loki said in confusion, raising his arms to the sky.

 

“I know, I know,” Peter said. “Mr. Loki, sir, I—“

 

“It was just so _POWERFUL!”_ Loki continued, actively beginning to cry. When Vision finished practicing the spell work, he found that Loki was too engrossed in Vision’s copy of _Blade Runner_ to stop reading. He finished the book, and began yelling about it in the hallway, brandishing it to the sky.

 

“You know they made it into a movie, right?” Peter had said, walking by into the kitchen.

 

“ _WHAT?!?!?_ ” Loki had yelped, and immediately grabbed the small boy with the spider powers and the technology and the what-have-you. Through several feats of engineering, magic, and internet piracy, the two got both _Blade Runner_ movies to play on the TV in the lounge. Various other people and heroes stopped by, but Loki shushed them fiercely and absorbed the movies with a ferocious intensity. All of this time elapsed, Loki now sat in the darkened lounge, crying about it, with Peter standing over his shoulder uncertain of what to do.

 

“I just,” Loki sniffed. “And he thought it was him!”

 

“I know!” Peter said. It really was a good movie, and the sequel was also _amazing_. Peter loved that it was a real time sequel, and Aunt May had liked Ryan Gosling. And of course, they both loved science fiction. The first time they’d seen it together was a very fun afternoon.

 

“That’s _me,”_ Loki said, poking himself in the chest and crying. “ _That’s me,”_ he continued, staring at Peter.

 

“I—“ Peter started.

 

“It’s _me,_ ” Loki plowed on, incredulous at his own thought patterns. “Lieutenant Joshi is Odin, and _I’m K._ ”

 

“That’s nice,” Peter said. He had no idea what was happening now. He gently patted Loki on the head.

 

“I’m a replicant!” Loki gasped, looking at his own hands stretched in front of them as if they’d give way to circuits before his eyes.

 

“I…um, Mr. Loki sir, maybe we should—“ Peter was floundering. 

 

“I have to find Vision!” Loki said, and he was on his feet in seconds. “I have to hold him in my arms! We are as one. _We are as ONE,_ ” Loki insisted, rounding on Peter. Peter looked around frantically. There wasn’t any alcohol in the building—not that he’d checked, there just wasn’t. And Peter was pretty sure there weren’t any drugs, either. What had they eaten? The lounge was coated in scattered popcorn and m-n-ms. 

 

“Mr. Loki, don’t you think you’re drunk?” Peter asked, desperately. “Maybe we should—“

 

“I, am not drunk,” Loki said, wobbling a little bit where he stood. “I understand now! I understand everything!” He ran out of the room. Peter followed, freaking out.

 

“Mr. Loki, wait!” he yelled, pushing off the wall to give himself a boost. Loki disappeared into one of the rooms, and Peter shot a web over the lock before the door could close. Peter followed. “Mr. Loki, please, we—“ Peter gasped. They were in Vision’s room.

 

It was the most beautiful thing Peter had ever seen, he thought. Every wall was lined with bookcases, and the entire room looked like one big reading nook. It was perfect. Vision was sitting on a cushion-y shelf, trying to read “Robot Dreams” by Isaac Asimov, and staring up at Loki.

 

“ _We,_ ” Loki insisted, trying to grab Vision’s shoulders (and missing), “are as _one._ ”

 

Vision looked at Peter. Loki passed out on the floor.

 

“I’m so sorry, Mr. Vision,” Peter said. “I’ll get him out of here right away. Um, what do I—“

 

“I’ll take care of him,” Vision sighed, standing up and lifting Loki over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes.

 

“I don’t know how this happened!” Peter was confused. “We didn’t do anything!”

 

“You didn’t,” Vision smiled. “Loki has been awake for at least 24 hours, and he’s been using magic for a lot of that.”

 

“I don’t get it,” Peter said.

 

“This happened once before you got here,” Vision said. “I’ll put him back in his room. Essentially, he’s drunk.”

 

Loki made noises, but didn’t seem like he was waking up anytime soon.

 

“How?” Peter was curious. “How does that even—“

 

“He’s not a human,” Vision shrugged. “I have no idea. I think he gets “drunk” when he consumes too much media at once. The last time, he binge-watched the entirety of Parks and Rec.”

 

“All of it?” Peter gaped.

 

“All of it,” Loki smiled, doing a weird salute from Vision’s shoulder.

 

“You get some rest,” Vision said. “Did you have fun today?”

 

“It’s like being in charge of a science lab!” Peter jumped up and down, excited. “Anything that I want to do, anything I want to take apart or reassemble, I can just do it!”

 

“And you used this power to steal movies from the internet, somehow?” Vision raised an eyebrow.

 

“It was for a good cause,” Peter said, his face falling.

 

“It was a joke,” Vision smiled, ruffling Peter’s hair. “Go get some rest. It’s late.”

 

“I’m just gonna clean up the lounge real quick,” Peter said, leaping off down the hallway.

 

“Go to sleep!” Vision yelled after him.

 

“It’s only 11:30!” Peter yelled back, scrambling into the lounge. Vision carried Loki back into his room, and set him down in the bed.

 

“Get some rest,” Vision said, for what felt like the millionth time. Why did no one here take care of themselves? 

 

“Wanda’s on the seventh floor,” Loki said, eyes half closed and face in a slack expression. Vision froze. “She told me not to tell you or she’d give me nightmares.”

 

“I know where she is,” Vision said, through gritted teeth.

 

“Then why—“ Loki was barely conscious.

 

“Goodnight,” Vision said, closing the door. He stood in the hallway. It felt too bright, all of a sudden. He was tired. The sounds of some Disney movie echoed through the hallway—Peter must be about to watch something else. Vision considered joining him, for a moment. But no. Not tonight. _Wanda’s on the fifth floor,_ Loki said. Vision wondered how many people knew. And Loki hadn’t even asked him what thoughts he’d been trying to banish.


	27. Day Four Begins

“I feel…” Loki squinted his eyes, as if looking for the words. “…Bad,” he announced, flopping into a chair in the kitchen. “It’s too early in the morning for this.”

 

“It’s noon,” Bucky said.

 

“What? I missed pancakes?” Loki threw his head back and groaned in helpless frustration.

 

“Actually you didn’t—I didn’t make them today. I decided to make omelets instead,” Bucky said, continuing to clean up the kitchen.

 

“I love pancakes,” Loki whispered sadly.

 

Bucky pointed into the lounge, where Loki saw that Peter (the small one) was sleeping next to someone wearing a bird costume.

 

“Who’s that?” Loki asked.

 

“New arrival,” Bucky smiled, looking _obscenely_ happy.

 

“Why are you like this?” Loki asked. “Why can’t you just stay in the kitchen at all times and cook whatever I want?”

 

“His name is Sam,” Bucky continued. “He was unconscious when he arrived, and was only just found on one of the higher floors. Doctor Strange treated his injuries and sent him down.”

 

“Are you okay with that?” Loki asked.

 

“I’m glad Sam’s here,” Bucky said, thoughtfully, “But I also wish he wasn’t. And I feel bad that I wasn’t the one to find him, so I’m really grateful that he _was_ found and sent down here. And though Doctor Strange continues to give me reasons to dislike him, I’m glad that he values life and that he helped Sam.”

 

“Yeah, why is the Doctor like that?” Loki asked, shuffling forward in his chair. If he could get on Bucky’s good side, maybe he’d get lucky and get some pancakes after all.

 

“I don’t even know,” Bucky said, shaking his head as he began washing dishes. “You know what he said to Peter the other day? Something about him being a child and needing to get out of the way for the adults. Can you believe that?”

 

“Not at all,” Loki sighed. It looked like he wasn’t getting breakfast here. His head hurt. He could barely remember last night.

 

“I mean, Peter _is_ pretty young, but he fought Thanos and ended up here just like everyone else,” Bucky said, starting to get angry about it. “And he’s so small! I just want to protect him, you know?”

 

“From what, that plate?” Loki snarked. Bucky looked down. He’d cracked the plate he was trying to wash from scrubbing too hard.

 

“Ah, who cares about dishes anyway,” Bucky said, throwing it in the recycler. “Check this out.” With a humming noise, the recycler glowed bright blue. Bucky walked over to a cabinet and opened it. A single plate, identical to the broken one, but clean, had appeared in its proper place.

 

“What? Why are you washing dishes then?!?!” Loki was incredulous. “Just throw them all in the recycler!”

 

“It’s nice,” Bucky smiled. “Kind of soothing. Oh—where are my manners? Can I make you something?”

 

 _Thank god,_ Loki thought. _Yes, yes totally can make me something you beautiful man._ “I don’t know,” Loki mused, trying to look nonchalant. “I don’t want to put you to all that trouble.”

 

“Not at all!” Bucky laughed, tucking a hair behind his ear.

 

 _This man,_ Loki thought, _is going to make such a good husband one day. Fuck, wait, he’s dating Captain America. But gee whiz, he’s got it all. Muscles, cooking skills—_

 

“PTSD,” Thor finished the sentence. Loki did the banishing spell. Thor disappeared.

 

“One cheese omelet, coming right up,” Bucky said.

 

“But—“ Loki started.

 

“No buts!” Bucky said, shaking his head. “Everyone’s getting protein today. Peter and Sam needed energy for the day, assuming they’ll wake up and hang out with me, and you are clearly hungover.”

 

“It’s going away,” Loki mumbled. And it was. Gods had a _killer_ metabolism. Was that the thing that made hangovers go away? Loki had no idea.

 

“Here you are,” Bucky said, offering Loki a beautiful omelet on the fresh recycled plate. Loki picked up a fork and began eating.

 

“WHAT THE FUCK?!?!” Loki shouted, mouth full.

 

“Watch it!” Bucky said, ducking out of the way. “What’s wrong?”

 

“You’ve made pancakes _every day_ when you have an entire recipe book of food that tastes like _this!??!?!”_ Loki scarfed down the omelet faster than was humanly possible.

 

“I thought you liked pancakes,” Bucky was ecstatic. “You said you wanted—“

 

“This is _so good,_ ” Loki said, finishing his meal. “You have _got_ to make something different every day. I cannot believe I’ve never eaten this before.”

 

“It’s just an omelet,” Bucky said, confused.

 

“You are the best cook in the entirety of the nine realms,” Loki said, “And I will fight anyone who says otherwise.”

 

“Wait,” Bucky said, crinkling his nose. “You just want another omelet.”

 

“No, I stand by what I said!” Loki said. “But…please?”

 

“A few more cheese omelets, coming right up,” Bucky sighed, taking the plate back.

 

“Yay!” Loki cheered.

 

“You are a child,” Bucky said, cracking more eggs. “Do you want me to teach you how to do this?”

 

“No,” Loki said. “Too hard. I’m going to go watch TV. Call me when they're ready!”

 

“You are _not_ going to watch TV, you’ll wake up Sam and Peter!” Bucky turned.

 

“Oh. Shit. You’re right,” Loki said. “What else can I do?”

 

“You can help make your own damn breakfast,” Bucky said, throwing Loki an apron.


	28. Chapter 28

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fun fact: a "short story" is under 7500 words.  
> A "novellete" is classified from 7500 words to 17,499 words.  
> A "novella" is 17,500 words to 39,499 words.  
> And a novel is anything above 40,000 words.  
> Just some information I would like to share as you continue reading my avengers novella

Vision was having a bad day. It seemed like the first day had been mostly fine, but things had just gone downhill from there.

 

He went into the kitchen to have lunch, and found Loki and Bucky having a conversation.

 

_“Wanda’s on the seventh floor,” Loki said._

 

“Vision!” Bucky said, looking up. “Back for seconds? I mean, it’s already lunchtime, clearly—“ he pointed at Loki, who was eating omelets similar to the ones everyone had had for breakfast.

 

“Excuse you?” Loki huffed. “This is a classy _brunch_ , thank you very much.”

 

_“She told me not to tell you or she’d give me nightmares.”_

 

“I…was looking for something,” Vision lied. He wanted to get out of there. There were people sleeping in the lounge—was that Peter? Vision told him to go to bed last night. “Loki, do you remember what happened last night?” Vision asked casually.

 

“Not a whole lot,” Loki said, mouth full. “Not at lot after, um, entering your room without permission. I’m sorry about that, by the way.”

 

_“I know where she is,” Vision said, through gritted teeth._

 

“Nothing after that?” Vision asked.

 

“Why?” Loki asked, confused. Vision sighed.

 

“Are you all right?” Bucky looked worried. “You look like you don’t know what you’re doing. You’re just pacing around…”

 

“I’m fine,” Vision said, a little more sharply than he’d intended to. Bucky looked hurt. “I’m sorry, Bucky, I’m just not feeling well.”

 

_“Then why—“ Loki was barely conscious._

 

_“Goodnight,” Vision said, closing the door._

 

“Do you want me to take a look at any of your injuries?” Loki asked.

 

“I said, I’m fine.” Vision left. He wondered what Bucky and Loki were saying now. Probably talking about how odd he was acting. But at least they didn’t know that he knew that Loki knew that Wanda was on the seventh floor. It was…complicated.

 

It had been hard _not_ to notice when Wanda arrived. Her arrival sent a shockwave of red magic through all the floors. Loki had ventured up to the seventh floor to see what it was, but Vision knew it was her. How could he not? He’d memorized what she felt like, trying to hold onto the feeling of being with her. And he had flashes of a memory that he knew wasn’t real—he could almost remember, it was just on the edge of his mind, what it felt like when she cracked the stone and killed him. But that hadn’t happened. She couldn’t do it, and Thanos had finished the job for her. Vision kept having dreams where she’d had the will to do it, the way he’d begged her to, and he'd put her hand on the stone… Loki had returned, shaken. He’d retrieved tape from his room, and put a “do not disturb” sign up in the elevator. He’d refused to tell anyone what he’d seen, but he kept looking at Vision when Loki thought he didn’t notice.

 

Vision was sure that she knew he was here, on the third floor. And he knew that she was on the seventh floor. And today was the fourth day that they were both here, and yet they didn’t even acknowledge each others’ existence.

 

Vision didn’t go up to see her. He kicked himself, every day, for not doing it, but he was worried. He could sense that she didn’t want him there, and that she didn’t want him to know where she was. So he left her alone, and he thought it was going to break his heart.

 

He worried, sometimes, that what he felt for her wasn’t love, but some kind of obsessive programmed circuit going wrong in his system. At worse moments, he thought that she knew exactly the circuit that broke, and that was why she was avoiding him. But sometimes, he remembered a moment they’d had together on their “honeymoon,” as Captain America called it. A moment in a park together, or sharing ice cream, or going to see a show…moments when she showed him some of her magic, and he could let go of the disguise that made him look normal, and they could just be who they really were.

 

Sometimes, he wished that he’d never dropped the blonde hair and the sweater, even when they were alone. He wondered if it was hard for her, trying to bond with something she couldn’t even be sure was real.

 

Maybe that was why she wasn’t talking to him.

 

A sound from behind drew Vision’s focus—it was Sam Wilson, emerging from the lounge and yawning. “Vision!” he yelled, face lighting up.

 

“Sam,” Vision smiled back, feeling tired.

 

“I was so worried!” Sam said, grabbing Vision in a tight hug. “But it’s all right— one third of the Vision/Wanda Honeymoon Protection Squad is here, and—“

 

“Thank you, but I’m really not feeling well,” Vision said, trying to get to the safety of his room.

 

“I just got here last night!” Sam said, gently pulling on Vision’s arm. “Hey—are you…?”

 

“I’m fine,” Vision said, and he felt electronics flicker under his skin. Sam took a step back.

 

“No, you’re not,” Sam said, looking Vision in the eyes. There was a long silence. “Do you want to talk about it?” Sam said softly. Vision nodded.

 

“Let’s go to your room,” Sam said. “I have a feeling we’re gonna need some privacy.” Vision nodded again, and Sam supported his arm as they walked into Vision’s room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is no way that the team of Captain America, Black Widow, and Falcon were NOT the Vision/Wanda Honeymoon Protection Squad in those opening scenes. Team protect-these-precious-lovers-from-all-possible-harm, UNITE!!!!!


End file.
